May Day, History, Facts and Phallic secrets :) :)

The following was posted on Micki Peluso’s blog.  I found it so interesting and informative I had to post it for all of you that are following me.

Micki has written a book about her daughter being killed by a drunk driver and I strongly urge you to buy it or read it on Kindle, and then kindly leave her a good review.  She is a great writer and FRIEND.

http://www.amazon.com/Whippoorwill-Sang-Micki-Peluso/dp/097920304X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328234109&sr=8-1  

 

 

 

Thank you Micki.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

The Merry Month of May

May Day is usually, but not always, celebrated on the first of May, although in recent years enthusiasm for the holiday has waned considerably. Many Staten Islanders in New York can recall festivities in the past several decades which included springtime sports, and May Poles decorated with bright ribbons streaming from the top of the pole. Young children were traditionally garbed the ribbons and danced around the pole, reveling in the warmth of spring. Older girls crowned a May Queen, and young girls often made baskets which they filled with flowers and hung on the doors of their friends. Many parts of the country still participate in these activities although my borough of Staten Island does not seem to be among them.

The month of May has always been a favorite month, with spring in full bloom and summer close behind. On the original Roman calendar, May was the third month of the year but the revised calendar moved it to the fifth month. The origin of the name, researchers say, most likely comes from Maia, a mother of Mercury. In Roman times and throughout history May has been considered an unlucky month for marriages, stemming back to the days when both the festival of the dead and the festival of the goddess of chastity were celebrated in May. This may explain the popularity of June weddings.

Vassar College in Poughkeepsie, New York, has held May Day celebrations with field sports, dancing around the May Poll and crowning a May Queen with a headdress of fresh flowers. On some occasions college records in sports were broken on that day, possibly due to the enthusiasm for the holiday. The California State Norma School in San José originated May Day festivities in 1902, with games for their kindergarten students. By 1910, the popularity of this holiday had grown to such proportion that 6000 spectators gathered to watch the celebration.

These observances have little to do with the ritualistic and symbolic fetes of olden days. Historians of folk customs have traced the May Day ritual back to the Floralia of the Romans, the festival of Flora, goddess of flowers. This festival was instituted in 238 BC and was celebrated from April 23 until May 3rd.

During the four or five centuries that Rome occupied Britain, the May Day Festival was introduced and flourished. One theory states that the May Day was initially a phallic festival in India and Egypt, marking the renewal of the fertility of nature at springtime. Researchers claim that the Romans considered the May Poll to be a phallic symbol, and their merrymaking included quite a few licentious acts which were the focus of May Day celebrations in England for some time.

The Morris Dance was a pagan dance which consisted of male dancers in fantastic costumes dancing about the May Poll. The name Morris, a word of Moorish origin, is associated with mummers, who acted out the ritual of the pagan god who celebrated his revival after death. Another custom was the May Day procession of a Man-horse, in Cornwall, where the central figure, “Oss Oss”, was a witch doctor disguised as a horse and wearing a mask. Dancers acted as attendants, sang May Day songs and beat on drums.

These activities greatly offended the Puritans, who coerced the Parliament of 1644 to ban the erection of May Polls. The Restoration repealed the prohibition, and in 1661, to celebrate the revival of the old custom, a May Poll, 134 feet high was raised. Sir Isaac Newton purchased the pole in 1717 and used it as a support for his telescope in Essex.

The New England Puritans also voiced objections to May Day festivities, which incited Gov. Endicott of Massachusetts in 1660, to lead a group of men to Merrymont, where the dreaded May Poll had been erected. The men chopped the pole down and named the place Mount Dragon, after the Idol of the Philistines that fell before the Ark.

May Day was said to have magical rites, such as those of Halloween. Samuel Pepys, the English diarist, related how his wife went to the country each May Day to wash her face in dew, a magic ritual ensuring a good complexion. Poetess Ann May Lawler, put the custom to verse: “Ever on the first of May did magic walk — the legends say. Maidens rose at early dawn to find a dew-en-sequinned lawn, and she who humbly bathed her face in dewdrops, in the magic place, she, they say, may never fear the curse of freckles for one year.”

When Labor Day was established in this country, the workers of Europe decided to hold a similar celebration, which they observed on May 1st. Due to lively labor politics, the date became better known for riots, bombings and burned cities. Radicals in the U.S. followed the European example and held demonstrations on May 1st. Later many U.S. cities, particularly New York City, demonstrated on May Day with parades of radical, labor, and other organizations, followed by mass meetings.

The beginning of May, whether celebrated with May Polls and flower festivals, or labor demonstrations, or no celebrations at all, introduces a month with few surprises. While March “comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb,” and April teases with balmy weather one day and pseudo-winter the next, the month of May brings a stable promise of ever better days to come.

 

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9-11-2014 A time for US to reflect and for US to be GREATFUL, PROUD, and THANKFUL to live in “OUR COUNTRY!!!”.

9/11-  A TIME TO REMEMBER, LEARN, and say THANK YOU!

On this 9/11, I am writing to compare how I felt then with now, and what has changed or changed me from that experience.

Now I want you all to write down how you felt back in 2001 compared to now, and what or if you do anything differently due to that event.  This within itself will show you how you’ve either changed or took it in stride. (9/11).

I feel this is cathartic for me and maybe it can be something like that for you.  I know most of America experienced a horror that they thought would never be seen in their life.

9-11-2001:  THEN

I was living in Iran at this time and had been since 1998. Prior to 9/11 I had been teaching English to Persian (Iranian) girls and women.  These girls became my best friends and could ask me questions after class that they wouldn’t dare ask their parents or anyone else.  These were simple questions like when do girls & boys start dating, and etal.  I kept their secret and we shared each others cultural differences and what we thought about them.

On 9/11/2001 I was being told by Mohammad that we needed to get out of IRAN in case America wanted to retaliate against the Middle East.  I asked why they would, he didn’t answer fully, just gave me some silly remark about Osama Bin Laden was going to increase the price of tobacco to get even with the US.  That sounded ridiculous but I was ecstatic as hell to be on our way home  i.e. USA!!!  When I arrived in Iran I was told I would need my husbands written permission to leave the country of Iran.  That was never going to happen.  Mohammad was your proverbial Muslim, wife is nothing but a slave, and he can do whatever he wants and get away with it.  E.G. beat her in the street, sell her to his friends for sex or drugs amongst other things.

I was also aware that something was going to happen today (9/11/2001) because I had heard rumors and gossip while Mohammad was speaking with all his friends in these nightly meetings.  I knew SOMETHING BAD was going to happen, I didn’t know where or what, but something.  I tried to call home on the 9th, 10th and 11th and was told that NO INTERNATIONAL CALLS WERE BEING ALLOWED THROUGH AT THAT TIME.  This recording every single day I tried to call the states.

9-12-2001:

We packed and went to the bus terminal to take a bus to Istanbul and then catch a plane from there home.  I still had NO IDEA of what really happened.  Five to ten minutes after showing our passports and paying for our tickets, these two troop type carrier trucks pulled up and blindfolded and handcuffed me and took me into one of the trucks, and Mohammad supposedly went into another.  (when you read my book you will see why he didn’t).

The events that took place for the next six weeks was total brutality of rape, starvation, beatings,  and many mind games.  I won’t use too many descriptions so that I don’t give the book away.  But I can say this these are actual event, not exaggerated and totally true.

  • GOD spoke to me in that camp and told me I was going home!
  • I didn’t really do any thinking or praying in the camp because when your faced with the thought of death every minute of everyday then your mind is always in high gear and all you can do is try to survive the moment that your in right then.
  • Upon arriving back in the USA on 11-14-2001, I kissed the ground after getting out of the terminal.  I at that time weighed in at around 70 pounds, most of my teeth were knocked out.  I had been beaten, raped and starved.  BUT I WAS SO EXCITED to be in my home country again, where I KNEW the rules and culture and didn’t need my husbands written permission to leave the country!
  • I appreciate the USA more than anyone I think because I lived in a country full of false type prophets who beat, robbed and tortured people yet claimed to be doing all of it in the name of GOD/ ALLAH;   and these people were RUNNING THE COUNTRY!
  • I have read the Qur’an and NO WHERE in it does it say to treat your wives and women the way they do.  It does not say to murder or torture those of a different religion or country.  The Qur’an dictates peace and to only kill in Allah’s name when absolutely necessary.  It denotes peace of all mankind, and the Muslims interpret it the way they WANT TO so that they can have a justified means to take out their anger, violence and murderous tendencies on others.
  • A lot of religions will interpret their Holy Book to the means necessary for which they desire to achieve.  The Muslims are not the only ones.    I still have many questions about those six weeks in that camp.  I was never interrogated, just raped, beaten and starved with so many others.

WE HAVE TO REALIZE HOW THANKFUL WE SHOULD BE ON A DAILY BASIS, to live in this beautiful country, although not flawless, we have our freedom, our ability to say no to men, we have life in our country that most countries around the world will not ever achieve or experience in their lifetime.

This country brings a lot of hope and promise to people!  Sure the Democrats and Republicans will never agree, but at least we are not  forced to abide by some type of dictatorship.  We will always have our freedoms that are spelled out in the constitution.

I hope that if you read my book you will see the atrocious acts that were carried out in Iran and WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED to happen in the USA.   The profits from the book go to Amnesty Intl. and HSUS, and HFH neurology division, and the Brighton Rehab hospital.

I think once you experience a country like Iran and then return to the USA …if your lucky, you will develop a whole new desire to be thankful and grateful everyday of your life here, because you will never have to experience:

  • People getting executed due to not being a Muslim in a Muslim dictated country such as Iran, Iraq, etal.
  • An honor killing of a daughter who gets drowned in her father’s swimming pool for not being a virgin on her wedding night.  (Happened to my student, Layla).
  • Women and young girls being beaten or having machine guns held to their heads because they have too much HAIR showing out of their head coverings.
  • Women and young girls being beaten out on the street and everyone just watches and agrees that they are getting what they deserve for their disobedience.
  • You will never be beat for asking a question about American girls and boys.
  • You will never see women getting hung in a town square in front of everyone even children, and then what they think is compassionate is to ALLOW the mother to go spend five minutes with her daughter at the noose before she is hung by a construction crane.

I am almost glad to a degree that I did witness these things because you really never know until you see it first hand that it truly is REAL!   We are entitled Americans and none of us will ever change until something like what happened to me happens to them; And GOD I PRAY IT NEVER DOES!!!   Then they will understand the who’s, whys, and what’s.

The reason I wrote this was to compare how I felt then with now,  and to somehow get out of this apathetic depression I’m in.

9-11-2014

I still to this day sleep a lot of the time sitting up, because for six weeks I was handcuffed to Faresh ( a girl from Bahrain). And we couldn’t lie down or we’d be kicked or hit in the head, so we had to “REST” and supposedly “SLEEP” sitting with our backs to each other.  We had a lot of chain between the cuffs so we had room to just sit back to back to support each other.  So now I sleep sitting up, go figure.  Not only that I’m in the middle of getting more dental implants to replace all the teeth that were knocked out in the camp.  And I’m going through the worst pain in my back and hip due to needing spinal fusion in several different places but the doctor refusing to do it, due to my history of blood clots in my lungs on two occasions.

I WILL GET THRU my downfalls, and I will always be thankful for my GOD and country, and I know that most of my friends on FB, are very enlightened, intelligent individuals who will understand my way of TRYING TO WRITE this as a tribute while allowing others to see into my emotions and another country. 🙂 :).

Please write a list today of the top five things you love about this country, and share them in the comments section if you would.  Then for each one THANK GOD for allowing you the privilege of living in this country, where your rights and individual beliefs are not only allowed, but to be looked upon without prejudice or bias.

I would GREATLY APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK.  I don’t think this day ever gets totally “OK” or “BETTER” for us, it just gets to be tolerable and a time to think back.  Don’t ever let this be a time to FORGET!

Those 2750 victims should not have died in vain.

Their families and loved ones should not suffer in vain.  We need to remember them and the tragedies they suffered that day.

I don’t allow myself to forget, I use my experience to help others.  I am speaking once a month at Brighton Rehab hospital about my book and experience.  I was so speechless the first time I spoke and got not only a standing ovation but a line of about 50 people waiting to hug me.  These guys with tattoos all over their necks and arms would come up to me with tears in their eyes and tell me that if I could get thru that then they could survive getting clean.  That was one of the most emotional times of my life to know that what I’m doing is truly ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING FOR OTHERS!

Please visit my website and be sure to buy my book on Amazon,  All profits from my book go to Amnesty International, HSUS, Henry Ford Hospital, Brighton Rehab hospital.

http://www.loris-song.com

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20

Thank you for reading this and leaving your comments.  God Bless, Lori

To rehab or not!

Hi all!!

A very special friend of mine (I can’t say the name) is on their way to rehab today for a long stay at getting sober.  I can’t tell you how happy I am.  This person was highly addicted to narcotics (the stronger the better) and it ruined their family, almost to the point of no return.  This step, agreeing to go to rehab was a very hard decision for them.  I only wish this person the BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER, and when you return you will have a loving supporting family to return to, and they will have saved your life, so be well, get well and get home and START LIFE!!! 🙂 🙂
The reason I’m posting this is I know all too well about being addicted.  I’ve been addicted to everything you can imagine, and if you’ve read my book you will know.  At one point I was taking 60 vicodin a day.  In 2008 I’m very happy to say I became clean in the SAME rehab facility my friend went to.
I can’t express enough that if you have an addiction, no MATTER WHAT IT IS, GET HELP.  Your family will be more supportive and loving if you “COME CLEAN” and tell them the truth.  People think they can keep using, or the next time they buy they will get it under a more controlled routine so they can start getting off whatever it is.  They think cutting back and slowly going off it will work.  IT DOES’NT!!!

I had been addicted to “SOMETHING” since I was 12yrs. old, I’m sure a lot of you my age know what “BLACK BEAUTIES” and “YELLOW JACKETS” are 🙂  Back then that was the drug of choice and it was REAL SPEED!  But then I graduated to other uppers then downers to counteract the uppers.  So I’m posting this in the hopes that if someone reads this it might NUDGE them or make them see themselves and go get HELP.
If you do you can always come to me for support.

I speak once a month at this rehab hospital on my book’s story (which involves my addiction throughout my life and how it contributed to me ending up in a POW camp in Iran right after 9/11).  And so many people come to me after the talk and are crying saying I changed their life and you have NO IDEA HOW GREAT THAT MAKES ME FEEL!!! The sales of my books in the gift shop doesn’t excite me, although the profits go to this rehab place.  What excites me is that maybe my story actually motivated someone who wasn’t 100% into getting clean to reach that level where they became that dedicated.  Speaking at that hospital (I don’t get paid I’m a volunteer) is one of the most cathartic times that I have when dealing with what happened to me in Iran.

Sorry so long, but in a synopsis GET HELP, GET CLEAN love yourself and love your family.   It couldn’t get any worse than it is for you right now at this moment if you decide to try this. The only way up is directly to rehab .
GOD BLESS! Lori

****PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES (IF YOUR COMFORTABLE DOING IT) WITH OUR READERS.  I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW YOU HAVE DEALT WITH GETTING AND STAYING CLEAN.  DO YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE URGES OR HAS IT SUBSIDED, HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN?  I WOULD APPRECIATE THOSE THAT ARE WILLING TO SHARE THEIR STORY AND IT MIGHT EVEN HELP ANOTHER MAKE A DECISION THAT WOULD ONLY IMPROVE THEIR LIFE!!!

 

My book “Lori’s Song” is available on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20  

Inspiring, touching, and UNDERSTANDING those who want SOBRIETY!

Hi all,

I just wanted to share this with you today, as most of you know I speak at a rehab hospital every month about my book and experience with drugs as well as what happened to me in Iran.  I usually get one or two war vets and last month one came to me with tears in his eyes.  He had lost his buddy in Iraq and suffered from PTSD *which I do too.  And he told me my talk was so inspiring and helpful that it motivated him to definitely get out of this slouch and take his life back.  That made me feel better than any book profits.  I sell my book at this rehab clinic but all the money goes to the clinic to help support long term rehab.  This is a letter I got from the supervisor at the clinic about last months talk.

Hi Lori,

I just have to tell you the your name is all over our patient surveys,  They loved your talk!!  With that being said I would like to put you down as a regular speaker in the rehab building.  One reason is you will get to talk to more people and the other is I am not scheduling very many at Partial anymore.  So can I put you down for the first Saturday of every month to speak in rehab?  We will be sure to have your book displayed on our front display the next time you come in.

Thank you

 

THIS MEANT SO MUCH TO ME, MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE AND I WANTED TO SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE.  THANK YOU, LORI

Women of Iran

Hello all!  I posted this article a few months back and forgot to share it with my blogger buds.  This is really important to me because it gives insight as to how “ALL” women and “MOTHERS, SISTERS, AUNTS…etal” are the same at the core.  We forget to see this in our NEGATIVE society.  We only dwell on the bad and totally overlook the good.

I hope this article helps you understand why I loved my Iranian girl students, who also happened to be mothers, sisters, aunts etal…but most of all STRONG WOMEN!

Thank you and your comments would be welcome!

 

 

 

Crossing the lines of culture – My experience in Iran by Lori Foroozandeh

                       

 

If you write a book about something that is little known, you have to be prepared for questions. Some will be silly and trivial, some will be deeper: but there will be questions. I wrote about Iran. Immediately I learned that many Americans know little about that country and its culture. Many of the questions I have been asked have been about the women of Iran. They seem so different from the women of America, so different and so very hard to comprehend.

The mere mention of Iran invokes suspicion. Backwardness, fundamentalism, and terrorism were some of the words that seemed to immediately spring to American minds.  Iranian men are seen as bearded, militant, hostile, and chauvinistic. The women are assumed to be veiled, oppressed, and submissive. Shrouded in their traditional black chadors (the ultimate symbol of their oppression), Iranian women shown on television appear angry. Holding their hands in the air and chanting anti-American slogans, they are more than willing to join the men in a fight against the United States.

Is the anger and anti-Americanism of the Iranian woman real? Are these so-called truths only media propaganda? Are these mass images a reflection of “the people,” or are they just manufactured collages that deprive the individual Iranian woman of her personal humanity? Exactly who is the Iranian woman?

While her appearance seems to typify inferiority and the oppression of the “second sex” that is so prevalent in that part of the world, I beg to differ with the stereotype. Having lived in Iran and having been in day-to-day contact with many of these women, I know them to be wise, proud, and highly intelligent. They are also tactful if not downright manipulative as they deal with the male dominated society around them. They are in many ways truly heroes.

The true Iranian woman may be oppressed, but underneath she is rebellious. She is subjugated but unruly. She is controlled and at the same time defiant. She may seem hushed and subservient, but she is strong in her faith—a true believer—and ready to fight for it. However segregated and oppressed she may be, the Iranian woman is a revolutionary, a fighter, and willing to die for her nation. Yes, she is a loving mother and a dutiful wife, but she has the heart of a warrior and the soul of Persia beats within her.

In short, there is a contradiction between the submissive and the fierce sides of these women. Westerners tend to see only the passive and subservient side. Perhaps that is because Western observers have been so fascinated by what they have seen as so different from their own cultures. Certainly the conflict with Western values has highlighted the anti-feminist aspects of Iranian culture and Islam. In part the revivalism of modern Islam has fortified these traditional values and appearances.

However, having lived in Iran for three and a half years, I have seen the other side of Iranian women. Oriented very much in the here-and-now, Iranian women are pragmatic and are often looked to for advice. Most Iranian men were closer to their mothers than their fathers.  Of course, older sons have a sense of responsibility for their mothers and sisters should anything happen to their fathers. Also, because women are removed from men in the common run of things, they may seem somehow more enigmatic, some one who has to be understood—especially after an arranged marriage, when the man is suddenly expected to take on the role of husband, a role for which he has had so little training.

It is interesting to see how greatly Iranian women change when they come to the United States, especially those women who come by themselves. Without the pressures of family, Iranian women who immigrate to the U.S. frequently give up the chador. They wait to marry. And perhaps most importantly, they continue their educations.

While the women who come here with their families and husbands continue the traditional ways (or perhaps are pressured into doing so), the women who are on their own quickly adapt to this land of new opportunities. Perhaps the most immediate sign of that adaptation is the change in their clothing. The drabness of traditional dress is suddenly replaced with color. But underneath that exuberant change, they are still some of the kindest people you will ever meet.

To read more of my experiences in Iran, visit http://www.loris-song.com/

My book is on Amazon at:  http://www.amazon.com/Loris-Song-Story-American-Captive/dp/1432738291/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

BOOK FAIR and other SUBJECTS

Hi all, I know it’s been a while since I posted.  I just wanted to inform everyone that their is a VIRTUAL BOOK FAIR every week-end i.e. Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  This fair is for readers & authors.  Readers can find new books they’d like to read, and get in on the edge before they become BEST SELLERS:) Also I’d like to hear some of your stories that relate to PTSD, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence, Substance Abuse and living with Bipolar.  If you have any stories you’d like to share with us, reply to this post or send me an email lori@loris-song.com and I will post it for you (let me know if you’d like anonymity or I can use your name.  I’d love to hear how other people deal with these disorders.  I’ve posted a lot of informational stuff, but I plan on sharing my stories too.  Thank you for belonging to the group. IF YOUR AN AUTHOR and you’d like to have your book one of them featured in the book fair, go to this website and you will find the directions on what you have to do.  Regardless of what date is there it’s the same every week, just the date changes.  So you can have a chance not only to share your book but an excerpt as well (lonnnngg or short), it’s a GREAT FAIR, and I sold over 10 books this week-end.  Here is the link:   https://www.facebook.com/groups/169126186575183/ Take care all, and be safe returning to school and back from vacation.  Also if there is ever a time you need to share something with the group, let me know at my email address or reply to the specific subject matter.  Lori

Words I “TRY” to live by!

DESIDERATA

Yes I agree. I’ve lived by this one writing most of my life, well since I found it way back in 1992 it’s called Desiderata Here is the poem.

DESIDERATA Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Here and there…no matter where you look LIFE is NOW!

Sometimes there are days when I get up and really have to work at staying out of bed.  It has nothing to do with recent events or any particular reasons but I’m just depressed.  I guess that is how Bipolar works.  Other days I’m so hyper that I don’t let John get a word in edgewise.  No matter where I look, LIFE IS HERE AND NOW.  I’m on medications but all I see some days are just the pessimistic views about life and how it drags us down with us.  Then I go online and see something a friend has posted to me, or a funny cat picture and I smile without even realizing my day is better than when it started.

We all take things for granted, and expect those around us to be there forever and we don’t think about losing them on a daily basis.  I usually think about that every night before I go to bed.  I think to myself, my God what would I do if I lost one of my best buddies (my cats) or if something happened to John and usually shed a tear or two at the thought.

But this keeps me appreciating and praying thankfulness for the time I do have right here and now.  I try to tell myself everyday just how lucky I am to have the life I do right now, and try not to focus on the past.  But then I will get a nightmare that brings it all back to the surface.  John usually wakes up to see me sleeping sitting up.  *we couldn’t lay down in the camp even at night so Faresh and I would put our backs together and sleep sitting up leaning on each other.  Even though that was over 11 years ago I still feel safer sleeping sitting up.  This goes to show that no matter how hard we try to get on with our lives there will always be something that “pops” up to remind us of a horrific event in the past.

It is how we deal and justify these returning memories that makes us survive another day.  When John finally wakes me up, I feel so relieved that I’m in a bed next to the man I love and no one can hurt me right now.  I think that is why I have such a feeling of ‘greatfulness’ to God like I’ve never had before.   It just goes to prove that sometimes we are tested, no matter who we are, but the test is alot less stressful than the event was.  And it gives us pause to realize that all of that mourning isn’t going to waste, it is reminding us how GREAT life is NOW!  No matter what your belief system is you can’t deny the affect that God has on us.  I’m not what they refer to as a “BIBLE THUMPER” but I have a strong faith in God, and I know he was with me at that camp, as well as he is here with me now.  When I was in that camp and the night before we were going to escape, I felt someone touch my shoulder, I jerked around to see if it was a soldier and no one was there, then I heard a voice say, “Lori your going home”, and I looked all around to see if someone was mocking me and everyone was either trying to close their eyes but none were looking our way.  And I HAD NO IDEA WE WERE GOING TO ESCAPE THE NEXT NIGHT.

Whenever I feel doubt or someone into evolution tries to sway me to a LOGICAL STANDPOINT, I just tell them, we might have evolved, we might have experienced everything that the scientist say, but still SOMEONE HAD TO BE THE INITAL CREATOR FOR ANY OF THAT TO HAPPEN in the first place.  I can’t believe they don’t get it. 

Anyway I just wanted to share my thoughts for the day,  and make some of you realize that sometimes if I don’t reply positively it doesn’t mean I’m mad or sick of people, I’m just in the midst of realizing that you have two choices in life, to exist in it or live it, and I choose to LIVE IT.  GOD BLESS YOU ALL in your endeavors and remember you will be tested, and no matter what our test is it is far less than what Jesus did for our lives that we are living NOW!  :):)