Mental Health Issues

9-11-2014 A time for US to reflect and for US to be GREATFUL, PROUD, and THANKFUL to live in “OUR COUNTRY!!!”.

/ Lori / 3 Comments

9/11-  A TIME TO REMEMBER, LEARN, and say THANK YOU!

On this 9/11, I am writing to compare how I felt then with now, and what has changed or changed me from that experience.

Now I want you all to write down how you felt back in 2001 compared to now, and what or if you do anything differently due to that event.  This within itself will show you how you’ve either changed or took it in stride. (9/11).

I feel this is cathartic for me and maybe it can be something like that for you.  I know most of America experienced a horror that they thought would never be seen in their life.

9-11-2001:  THEN

I was living in Iran at this time and had been since 1998. Prior to 9/11 I had been teaching English to Persian (Iranian) girls and women.  These girls became my best friends and could ask me questions after class that they wouldn’t dare ask their parents or anyone else.  These were simple questions like when do girls & boys start dating, and etal.  I kept their secret and we shared each others cultural differences and what we thought about them.

On 9/11/2001 I was being told by Mohammad that we needed to get out of IRAN in case America wanted to retaliate against the Middle East.  I asked why they would, he didn’t answer fully, just gave me some silly remark about Osama Bin Laden was going to increase the price of tobacco to get even with the US.  That sounded ridiculous but I was ecstatic as hell to be on our way home  i.e. USA!!!  When I arrived in Iran I was told I would need my husbands written permission to leave the country of Iran.  That was never going to happen.  Mohammad was your proverbial Muslim, wife is nothing but a slave, and he can do whatever he wants and get away with it.  E.G. beat her in the street, sell her to his friends for sex or drugs amongst other things.

I was also aware that something was going to happen today (9/11/2001) because I had heard rumors and gossip while Mohammad was speaking with all his friends in these nightly meetings.  I knew SOMETHING BAD was going to happen, I didn’t know where or what, but something.  I tried to call home on the 9th, 10th and 11th and was told that NO INTERNATIONAL CALLS WERE BEING ALLOWED THROUGH AT THAT TIME.  This recording every single day I tried to call the states.

9-12-2001:

We packed and went to the bus terminal to take a bus to Istanbul and then catch a plane from there home.  I still had NO IDEA of what really happened.  Five to ten minutes after showing our passports and paying for our tickets, these two troop type carrier trucks pulled up and blindfolded and handcuffed me and took me into one of the trucks, and Mohammad supposedly went into another.  (when you read my book you will see why he didn’t).

The events that took place for the next six weeks was total brutality of rape, starvation, beatings,  and many mind games.  I won’t use too many descriptions so that I don’t give the book away.  But I can say this these are actual event, not exaggerated and totally true.

  • GOD spoke to me in that camp and told me I was going home!
  • I didn’t really do any thinking or praying in the camp because when your faced with the thought of death every minute of everyday then your mind is always in high gear and all you can do is try to survive the moment that your in right then.
  • Upon arriving back in the USA on 11-14-2001, I kissed the ground after getting out of the terminal.  I at that time weighed in at around 70 pounds, most of my teeth were knocked out.  I had been beaten, raped and starved.  BUT I WAS SO EXCITED to be in my home country again, where I KNEW the rules and culture and didn’t need my husbands written permission to leave the country!
  • I appreciate the USA more than anyone I think because I lived in a country full of false type prophets who beat, robbed and tortured people yet claimed to be doing all of it in the name of GOD/ ALLAH;   and these people were RUNNING THE COUNTRY!
  • I have read the Qur’an and NO WHERE in it does it say to treat your wives and women the way they do.  It does not say to murder or torture those of a different religion or country.  The Qur’an dictates peace and to only kill in Allah’s name when absolutely necessary.  It denotes peace of all mankind, and the Muslims interpret it the way they WANT TO so that they can have a justified means to take out their anger, violence and murderous tendencies on others.
  • A lot of religions will interpret their Holy Book to the means necessary for which they desire to achieve.  The Muslims are not the only ones.    I still have many questions about those six weeks in that camp.  I was never interrogated, just raped, beaten and starved with so many others.

WE HAVE TO REALIZE HOW THANKFUL WE SHOULD BE ON A DAILY BASIS, to live in this beautiful country, although not flawless, we have our freedom, our ability to say no to men, we have life in our country that most countries around the world will not ever achieve or experience in their lifetime.

This country brings a lot of hope and promise to people!  Sure the Democrats and Republicans will never agree, but at least we are not  forced to abide by some type of dictatorship.  We will always have our freedoms that are spelled out in the constitution.

I hope that if you read my book you will see the atrocious acts that were carried out in Iran and WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED to happen in the USA.   The profits from the book go to Amnesty Intl. and HSUS, and HFH neurology division, and the Brighton Rehab hospital.

I think once you experience a country like Iran and then return to the USA …if your lucky, you will develop a whole new desire to be thankful and grateful everyday of your life here, because you will never have to experience:

  • People getting executed due to not being a Muslim in a Muslim dictated country such as Iran, Iraq, etal.
  • An honor killing of a daughter who gets drowned in her father’s swimming pool for not being a virgin on her wedding night.  (Happened to my student, Layla).
  • Women and young girls being beaten or having machine guns held to their heads because they have too much HAIR showing out of their head coverings.
  • Women and young girls being beaten out on the street and everyone just watches and agrees that they are getting what they deserve for their disobedience.
  • You will never be beat for asking a question about American girls and boys.
  • You will never see women getting hung in a town square in front of everyone even children, and then what they think is compassionate is to ALLOW the mother to go spend five minutes with her daughter at the noose before she is hung by a construction crane.

I am almost glad to a degree that I did witness these things because you really never know until you see it first hand that it truly is REAL!   We are entitled Americans and none of us will ever change until something like what happened to me happens to them; And GOD I PRAY IT NEVER DOES!!!   Then they will understand the who’s, whys, and what’s.

The reason I wrote this was to compare how I felt then with now,  and to somehow get out of this apathetic depression I’m in.

9-11-2014

I still to this day sleep a lot of the time sitting up, because for six weeks I was handcuffed to Faresh ( a girl from Bahrain). And we couldn’t lie down or we’d be kicked or hit in the head, so we had to “REST” and supposedly “SLEEP” sitting with our backs to each other.  We had a lot of chain between the cuffs so we had room to just sit back to back to support each other.  So now I sleep sitting up, go figure.  Not only that I’m in the middle of getting more dental implants to replace all the teeth that were knocked out in the camp.  And I’m going through the worst pain in my back and hip due to needing spinal fusion in several different places but the doctor refusing to do it, due to my history of blood clots in my lungs on two occasions.

I WILL GET THRU my downfalls, and I will always be thankful for my GOD and country, and I know that most of my friends on FB, are very enlightened, intelligent individuals who will understand my way of TRYING TO WRITE this as a tribute while allowing others to see into my emotions and another country. :) :).

Please write a list today of the top five things you love about this country, and share them in the comments section if you would.  Then for each one THANK GOD for allowing you the privilege of living in this country, where your rights and individual beliefs are not only allowed, but to be looked upon without prejudice or bias.

I would GREATLY APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK.  I don’t think this day ever gets totally “OK” or “BETTER” for us, it just gets to be tolerable and a time to think back.  Don’t ever let this be a time to FORGET!

Those 2750 victims should not have died in vain.

Their families and loved ones should not suffer in vain.  We need to remember them and the tragedies they suffered that day.

I don’t allow myself to forget, I use my experience to help others.  I am speaking once a month at Brighton Rehab hospital about my book and experience.  I was so speechless the first time I spoke and got not only a standing ovation but a line of about 50 people waiting to hug me.  These guys with tattoos all over their necks and arms would come up to me with tears in their eyes and tell me that if I could get thru that then they could survive getting clean.  That was one of the most emotional times of my life to know that what I’m doing is truly ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING FOR OTHERS!

Please visit my website and be sure to buy my book on Amazon,  All profits from my book go to Amnesty International, HSUS, Henry Ford Hospital, Brighton Rehab hospital.

http://www.loris-song.com

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20

Thank you for reading this and leaving your comments.  God Bless, Lori

To rehab or not!

/ Lori / 5 Comments

Hi all!!

A very special friend of mine (I can’t say the name) is on their way to rehab today for a long stay at getting sober.  I can’t tell you how happy I am.  This person was highly addicted to narcotics (the stronger the better) and it ruined their family, almost to the point of no return.  This step, agreeing to go to rehab was a very hard decision for them.  I only wish this person the BEST LIFE HAS TO OFFER, and when you return you will have a loving supporting family to return to, and they will have saved your life, so be well, get well and get home and START LIFE!!! :) :)
The reason I’m posting this is I know all too well about being addicted.  I’ve been addicted to everything you can imagine, and if you’ve read my book you will know.  At one point I was taking 60 vicodin a day.  In 2008 I’m very happy to say I became clean in the SAME rehab facility my friend went to.
I can’t express enough that if you have an addiction, no MATTER WHAT IT IS, GET HELP.  Your family will be more supportive and loving if you “COME CLEAN” and tell them the truth.  People think they can keep using, or the next time they buy they will get it under a more controlled routine so they can start getting off whatever it is.  They think cutting back and slowly going off it will work.  IT DOES’NT!!!

I had been addicted to “SOMETHING” since I was 12yrs. old, I’m sure a lot of you my age know what “BLACK BEAUTIES” and “YELLOW JACKETS” are :)  Back then that was the drug of choice and it was REAL SPEED!  But then I graduated to other uppers then downers to counteract the uppers.  So I’m posting this in the hopes that if someone reads this it might NUDGE them or make them see themselves and go get HELP.
If you do you can always come to me for support.

I speak once a month at this rehab hospital on my book’s story (which involves my addiction throughout my life and how it contributed to me ending up in a POW camp in Iran right after 9/11).  And so many people come to me after the talk and are crying saying I changed their life and you have NO IDEA HOW GREAT THAT MAKES ME FEEL!!! The sales of my books in the gift shop doesn’t excite me, although the profits go to this rehab place.  What excites me is that maybe my story actually motivated someone who wasn’t 100% into getting clean to reach that level where they became that dedicated.  Speaking at that hospital (I don’t get paid I’m a volunteer) is one of the most cathartic times that I have when dealing with what happened to me in Iran.

Sorry so long, but in a synopsis GET HELP, GET CLEAN love yourself and love your family.   It couldn’t get any worse than it is for you right now at this moment if you decide to try this. The only way up is directly to rehab .
GOD BLESS! Lori

****PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES (IF YOUR COMFORTABLE DOING IT) WITH OUR READERS.  I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR HOW YOU HAVE DEALT WITH GETTING AND STAYING CLEAN.  DO YOU CONSTANTLY HAVE URGES OR HAS IT SUBSIDED, HOW LONG DID IT TAKE FOR THAT TO HAPPEN?  I WOULD APPRECIATE THOSE THAT ARE WILLING TO SHARE THEIR STORY AND IT MIGHT EVEN HELP ANOTHER MAKE A DECISION THAT WOULD ONLY IMPROVE THEIR LIFE!!!

 

My book “Lori’s Song” is available on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20  

EASTER & MUSLIMS

/ Lori / 4 Comments

 

What is EASTER & do Muslims celebrate it?

The word ‘Easter’ is not biblical, but Jesus being resurrected from the dead three days after His crucifixion is. That is what Christians have celebrated from the first century. That is why Sunday became a day of worship for the new Church – Sunday being the day Jesus arose from the tomb. However, once a year the Church really makes a big thing of this event, upon which the existence of the Church depends. After all, if Jesus died but was never resurrected, He would just have been one more good man, a prophet, who was put to death. The Christian Church blossomed only after some 500 people witnessed Jesus alive after His death, and saw Him ascend bodily up into the sky till a cloud his Him from their sight. At that point, angels appeared to them saying that Jesus would return in the manner He departed, and that the Christians were to get busy proclaiming the good news about Christ to the world.

Why is Jesus’ resurrection good news to the world? The apostle Paul explained in his opening verses of his letter to Roman Christians; he spoke of the good news (gospel) promised by God “beforehand through his prophets in the Holy Scriptures regarding his Son, who as to his human nature was a descendant of David and who through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of God by his resurrection from the dead; Jesus Christ our Lord.”

As Muslims are offended at the very idea of there being a Son of God, they refuse to believe Jesus was the Son of God. As the resurrection of Christ is proof of His being the Son of God, they reject the resurrection. They do this by teaching that Jesus never died. They say it wasn’t Him who died on the cross; that God took Jesus to heaven without Jesus having to die. The rationale behind this is that if Jesus never died, He could never have been resurrected.

Easter is therefore something Muslims actually hate. They don’t mind Christmas because they believe Jesus the man was born to the virgin Mary, but they would never celebrate Easter. All that stuff about colouring eggs and rolling them down hills has got nothing to do with the biblical account, however. It’s all about the sinless Christ triumphing over sin, death and the grave by rising from the grave. Death could not hold Him, because He is the Son of God!

WAIT IT GETS BETTER ……

School fliers announcing church Easter egg hunt have Muslims up in arms

A Muslim parent is upset over fliers his two elementary school-aged children received advertising an Easter egg hunt in Michigan.

The papers were passed out to students at three Dearborn, Mich., elementary schools, according to the Detroit Free Press. Headlined, “Eggstravaganza!” the fliers announced an April 12 egg hunt, relay race and egg toss at Cherry Hill Presbyterian Church.

“It really bothered my two kids,” parent Majed Moughni said of his children, aged 7 and 9. “My son was like, ‘Dad, I really don’t feel comfortable getting these flyers, telling me to go to church. I thought churches are not supposed to mix with schools.’ ”

A 9-year-old understands the concept of church-state separation?

Moughni said he doesn’t agree with “using school teachers paid by public funds … to pass out these flyers that are being distributed by a church.”

“I think that’s a serious violation of separation of church and state,” he told the Free Press.

The pastor at Cherry Hill Presbyterian Church didn’t understand what the hubbub was all about. The egg hunt isn’t a religious event, she said, and the flier – decorated with images of eggs and a bunny — was approved by the school district.

“There is not a religious component to this event,” Pastor Neeta Nichols told the newspaper. “Part of our ministry in Dearborn is to invite the community to let them know we’re here. We’re offering various kinds of programming, fun opportunities, so what we can be engaged with the community.”

Others aren’t so sure.

“It would be one thing if this were an Easter egg hunt in an otherwise secular setting,” said Greg Lipper, senior litigation counsel at Americans United for Separation of Church and State. “But this invitation was for an Easter egg hunt at a Christian church — and so the event has much clearer religious connotations. Context matters.”

How’s this for context? Ten Muslim students at a Maryland public school last year demanded — and received — time off from studies so they could perform their traditional prayers on school property, according to The Washington Post.

Closer to home, in April 2013, the Michigan chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations lodged a complaint against the Dearborn School District, saying it didn’t accommodate Muslim students wishing to participate in prayer on school grounds.

The district caved, according to Arab-American News.

Muslims have even demanded — and received — rooms set aside for prayer in Catholic schools, Fox News reported.

If the separation of church and state has any validity, it has to apply to everyone. No one, no matter what his or her religion, can have it both ways.

 

And wait, yet another pathetic story of how Muslims are using their chosen barbaric ways to make a point regarding their religion and the fanaticism that they bring to it!!!

For Discussing Christian Customs; Young Christian Boy Lost His Life.

While talking about Easter holidays and fasting in Christian custom 22 years old Christian Sunny Hyder was shoot down by an extremist security guard. –

 Sunny Hyder was working as a sweeper in Bank Islami in Lahore. While talking about Easter holidays and fasting in Christian custom the security guard, Umar Farooq open fire at his head and shouted that Sunny attempted suicide. Noulakha Police station took notice of the incident, the security guard was arrested and Sunny’s corpse was recovered for further investigation.

This incident is based on religious debate and intolerance. According to Hyder Masih, father of the executed victim there was a dispute between his son and security guard, Umar Farooq from Khushab. Few days ago Sunny shared his problem with his father but his father didn’t took it seriously.

Sunny Hyder’s body was found on sofa in under construction building and the door was locked from inside. According to police it was a suicide. But the facts and evidences of struggle forced to file FIR against Umar Farooq, FIR no. is 255/14. Victim’s parents seek justices for their late son, who was executed on the name of religion. –

***In a synopsis from my point of view and hopefully not offensive to anyone.

In our society today it seems as though we have lost sight of our own traditions, culture and values.  We are so overwhelmed with not wanting to offend any group or person that we end up offending our own and cheat our children out of any CONSISTENT belief system.

The minority has the voice now in America and it’s all a matter of personal opinion on who exactly the minority is.  The sad thing that is taking place is that we are allowing so many trivial people who scream injustice at how we treat their culture that we end up  robbing our own children of theirs.  This country was not founded on Muslim or Islamic religion therefor it shouldn’t be or have to be a “GIVEN” that we accept it.  After all Muslims do NOT ACCEPT our religions in their country, they even execute people for practicing it or even discussing it in some instance: like we read above.

Lets take back our right to instill values and religion into our children which were started generations ago.  If Muslims or any other religion want to infiltrate and change our educational system or religious system then let them do it in their own schools and churches or mosques. Let them spend their own dollars in building these facilities and let us keep our money to put into our children and educating them about CHRIST!   Don’t force us to put your shit into our schools and into our childrens brains that it’s ok to kill, and take away timeless traditions (easter egg hunts) just for sating your bithching.   I think we’ve tolerated enough and it’s time to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH!  I’d like your feedback on this please.

–

 

Bipolar Test

/ Lori / Leave a comment

Information on bipolar, the different types/stages of it, and generalized symptoms to help you recognize if you might have bipolar.  This in no way should be a self diagnosis, it is only intended to help people identify symptoms of the mood disorder so that they can seek further help to determine if they have it or not.

This of course is personal to me because I HAVE BIPOLAR.

Test Here weather you have bipolar Disorder or not

Signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder
In the Psychology Today, Bipolar disorder is the disorder which effects most of the people and they don’t even know that they had it.
Bipolar disorder can look very different in different people. The symptoms vary widely in their pattern, severity, and frequency. Some people are more prone to either mania or depression, while others alternate equally between the two types of episodes. Some have frequent mood disruptions, while others experience only a few over a lifetime.
There are four types of mood episodes in bipolar disorder: mania, hypomania, depression, and mixed episodes. Each type of bipolar disorder mood episode has a unique set of symptoms.
1. Mania
2. Hypomania
3. Depression
4. Mixed Episodes
1. Signs and symptoms of mania
In the manic phase of bipolar disorder, feelings of heightened energy, creativity, and euphoria are common. People experiencing a manic episode often talk a mile a minute, sleep very little, and are hyperactive. They may also feel like they’re all-powerful, invincible, or destined for greatness.
But while mania feels good at first, it has a tendency to spiral out of control. People often behave recklessly during a manic episode: gambling away savings, engaging in inappropriate sexual activity, or making foolish business investments, for example. They may also become angry, irritable, and aggressive—picking fights, lashing out
when others don’t go along with their plans, and blaming anyone who criticizes their behavior. Some people even become delusional or start hearing voices.

2. Hypomania symptoms
Hypomania is a less severe form of mania. People in a hypomanic state feel euphoric, energetic, and productive, but they are able to carry on with their day-to-day lives and they never lose touch with reality. To others, it may seem as if people with hypomania are merely in an unusually good mood. However, hypomania can result in bad decisions that harm relationships, careers, and reputations. In addition, hypomania often escalates to full-blown mania or is followed by a major depressive episode.
Common signs and symptoms of mania include:
  • Feeling unusually “high” and optimistic OR extremely irritable
  • Unrealistic, grandiose beliefs about one’s abilities or powers
  • Sleeping very little, but feeling extremely energetic
  • Talking so rapidly that others can’t keep up
  • Racing thoughts; jumping quickly from one idea to the next
  • Highly distractible, unable to concentrate
  • Impaired judgment and impulsiveness
  • Acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences
  • Delusions and hallucinations (in severe cases)
3. Signs and symptoms of bipolar depression
In the past, bipolar depression was lumped in with regular depression. But a growing body of research suggests that there are significant differences between the two, especially when it comes to recommended treatments. Most people with bipolar depression are not helped by antidepressants. In fact, there is a risk that antidepressants can make bipolar disorder worse—triggering mania or hypomania, causing rapid cycling between mood states, or interfering with other mood stabilizing drugs.
Despite many similarities, certain symptoms are more common in bipolar depression than in regular depression. For example, bipolar depression is more likely to involve irritability, guilt, unpredictable mood swings, and feelings of restlessness. People with bipolar depression also tend to move and speak slowly, sleep a lot, and gain weight. In
addition, they are more likely to develop psychotic depression—a condition in which they’ve lost contact with reality—and to experience major disability in work and social functioning.

Common symptoms of bipolar depression include:
  • Feeling hopeless, sad, or empty.
  • Irritability
  • Inability to experience pleasure
  • Fatigue or loss of energy
  • Physical and mental sluggishness
  • Appetite or weight changes
  • Sleep problems
  • Concentration and memory problems
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  • Thoughts of death or suicide
4. Signs and symptoms of a mixed episode
A mixed episode of bipolar disorder features symptoms of both mania or hypomania and depression. Common signs of a mixed episode include depression combined with agitation, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, distractibility, and racing thoughts. This combination of high energy and low mood makes for a particularly high risk of suicide.
The different faces of bipolar disorder
1. Bipolar I Disorder (mania or a mixed episode) – The classic manic-depressive form of the illness, characterized by at least one manic episode or mixed episode. Usually—but not always—Bipolar I Disorder also involves at least one episode of depression.
2. Bipolar II Disorder (hypomania and depression) – In Bipolar II disorder, the person doesn’t experience full-blown manic episodes. Instead, the illness involves episodes of hypomania and severe depression.
3. Cyclothymia (hypomania and mild depression) – Cyclothymia is a milder form of bipolar disorder. It consists of cyclical mood swings. However, the symptoms are less severe than full-blown mania or depression.
These are helpful links:

Sharing my day, life and issues, now it’s YOUR TURN!!

/ Lori / 4 Comments

This is to encourage those that think their life is meaningless or boring to share a day or a week with me and maybe by sharing we can all laugh and maybe help each other cope.

Hi all,

I just want to share with you how my life goes dealing with the “issues” that I suffer from.  You all should know by now that I have “BIPOLAR”, “DRUG ABUSE”, “PTSD”, “DEPRESSION”, and if I’ve missed one let me know.

On a daily basis I have to deal with the past.  No matter how much therapy I’ve endured I still suffer with nightmares on Iran, and constant dreams of Mohammad.  Almost EVERY night I wake up at some point sitting up with my hands balancing me (which I’m sure is causing my carpal tunnel).  The reason for this is, in the POW camp I was handcuffed to a girl named Faresh and the only way we could “rest” was when we sat back to back.  If I got ANY SLEEP in that camp it was sitting up like that.  We were not allowed to lay down, and generally if they saw us with our eyes closed they would nudge us with their gun butts.   So despite the time period that has elapsed since that incident, I STILL SUFFER FROM THIS.

I still get nightmares about my brother sexually abusing me at age 11.  Once in a great while I will get a good dream where he has died, and if I’m LUCKY I will get a double feature five star dream where he and Mohammad are BOTH killed! :)

Now the bipolar that is a tricky issue to deal with.  I’ve been on pills now since 2007 which have helped ALOT!  But the anti-depressants that I take with them usually reach a toleration level in 2-3 years so I have to try another one.  But I don’t suffer from the constant mania that would appear twice or more a week causing me to take my hubby’s credit cards and go buy something, buy what you ask, it didn’t matter as long as I bought something, and that’s the truth.  I still have moodiness that is hard to control, one day I will be best friends with someone and the next day they won’t talk to me due to the conversation we had the night before.  My poor hubby goes through most of my ups and downs.  Whenever I tell him I love him and that he’s the best man I’ve ever had the chance in knowing, he will say, “RIGHT NOW I AM, but tomorrow I could be the OGRE of your nightmares”, and he’s kind of right.  He knows by now not to take me seriously when I’m upset so he just “rides” the storm.  But for the most part the bipolar is under control.

The one thing that upset me is how they portray the bipolar individuals in tv shows or movies.  These people always seem to be OFF THE CHARTS mentally ill.  That is not bipolar.  Bipolar really isn’t a mental condition it’s a MOOD DISORDER.  But the way these shows depict us people get scared and get all kinds of false ideas when they meet someone who is bipolar.  Another thing that needs to be addressed is when a bipolar person gets upset, mad or happy, our loved ones and those close to us ALWAYS attribute it to the BIPOLAR.  It’s like we can’t have these emotions just NORMALLY, it always has to be the bipolar, thus we are not taken seriously.  They assume these emotions will change tomorrow or in some cases like mine in the next ten minutes; (I have rapid cycling bipolar).  We can’t just be mad at someone because they did something we didn’t like, noooo it was because we were just moody and tomorrow we will be fine with what they upset us about.   Or if we get very happy (warning: don’t smile too broadly or laugh too loudly) they will think were manic and start looking at us strange like will she fly the cuckoos nest sometime soon, or will she break down crying.  This just ISN’T RIGHT!

What I don’t like is how apathetic these bipolar meds can make you.  They can make you so apathetic that you don’t have emotions.  I feel bad for the person who is getting their medication adjusted because the doctor feels that if your sedated it’s better than being manic and you could wind up on a drug like Seroquel and sleep all day.  Most of these drugs make you gain weight and then they wonder why Brittney Spears is having trouble keeping her stick thin figure.  She’s lucky she has any energy at all.  Some people who take these drugs take a stimulant or are so hooked on caffeine to counteract the tiredness that causes problems in their behavior too.  I liked my manic episodes at times, they made me feel alive and passionate about things.  Sure I did take them too far and not all my behavior was appropriate but I still enjoyed them.  One time I was getting my hair done at home and had all these tin foils in my hair waiting for my color to take, I told my friend who was doing it to get in the car we had to go to the store and get lottery tickets and cigarettes.  She couldn’t believe it, my hubby told her to please go with me and drive so I wouldn’t get in trouble.  (he knew when I was like that to just deal with it the most tactful way possible).  The people at the store knew me so it didn’t shock them (at least they didn’t show it facially).  My poor hairdresser didn’t come over and do my hair again for a long time.  Until she understood what it was I suffered from.

Well in a short synopsis, I drive an hour and a half every Tuesday to therapy at Henry Ford Hospital, for my PTSD of Iran, childhood sexual abuse, and my life in a nutshell.  I also now have a benign brain tumor that is now 10% into my brain and growing.  I also suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, I’ve had my hip replaced already, and am on a blood thinner due to suffering from 4 lung embolisms after I snorted some Soma and Ritalin *(back in 2007).  But on the bright side I went thru rehab in 2008 and now speak at the rehab hospital once a month on my book, my experiences and my recovery.  This talk motivates, inspires and gives hope to those that think their lives are in dire straits.  (well they tell me it does this and the patients share with me how much these talks help them) I love talking with them and the first time I did, I kept thinking I was narcissistic for standing up in front of a group of people to tell them about my life.  But when they started lining up to hug me and tell me how much hope it gave them as well as inspiration to quit, and some even had tears in their eyes, well that made me the happiest that I’d been in a LONNNGGGG time!  My book is sold in their gift shop and profits go to the rehab hospital.  But that is ALL I have going in my life right now.  I sit home, live on the computer, talk to my cats all day, and exercise everyday (MAYBE) for 30 minutes.  Then I wait for the SIMPSONS to come on, and then I know it’s evening.  I get up every night at 330am and eat ice cream and watch “BEWITCHED”, “I DREAM OF JEANNIE” and if I really stay up long , “THE JACK BENNY SHOW”  I’m on permanent disability so I have NOTHING TO DO.

So if there is anyone out there that has suggestions for me on doing something, not gardening or crocheting, but something they know of for sure that I could help someone with either from my home pc or other, PLEASE let me know.

NOW I WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIFE STORY, or at least a day in the life of SOMEONE WITH ISSUES! :)

The reason I wrote this was because I was sick of playing Candy Crush Saga, and other FB games and wanted to do something that MIGHT be productive for other people too.  They say if you talk about things its the first step in helping your mind deal with them.  So I’m dealing with a boring existence that therapy has numbed by severe PTSD to a minimum level, but due to the disability I’m going NUTS AT HOME with NOTHING TO DO!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES!

*** For those of you who haven’t read my book or know me, the links below should help you out in that aspect.  I also have had a mini-documentary done on the Discover Channel and am looking for more opportunities like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se-NTRWCJIU (Discovery Channel documentary-THIRD STORY in a series of three)
My current promotion to raise money for the charities I support.