Sharing my day, life and issues, now it’s YOUR TURN!!

This is to encourage those that think their life is meaningless or boring to share a day or a week with me and maybe by sharing we can all laugh and maybe help each other cope.

Hi all,

I just want to share with you how my life goes dealing with the “issues” that I suffer from.  You all should know by now that I have “BIPOLAR”, “DRUG ABUSE”, “PTSD”, “DEPRESSION”, and if I’ve missed one let me know.

On a daily basis I have to deal with the past.  No matter how much therapy I’ve endured I still suffer with nightmares on Iran, and constant dreams of Mohammad.  Almost EVERY night I wake up at some point sitting up with my hands balancing me (which I’m sure is causing my carpal tunnel).  The reason for this is, in the POW camp I was handcuffed to a girl named Faresh and the only way we could “rest” was when we sat back to back.  If I got ANY SLEEP in that camp it was sitting up like that.  We were not allowed to lay down, and generally if they saw us with our eyes closed they would nudge us with their gun butts.   So despite the time period that has elapsed since that incident, I STILL SUFFER FROM THIS.

I still get nightmares about my brother sexually abusing me at age 11.  Once in a great while I will get a good dream where he has died, and if I’m LUCKY I will get a double feature five star dream where he and Mohammad are BOTH killed! 🙂

Now the bipolar that is a tricky issue to deal with.  I’ve been on pills now since 2007 which have helped ALOT!  But the anti-depressants that I take with them usually reach a toleration level in 2-3 years so I have to try another one.  But I don’t suffer from the constant mania that would appear twice or more a week causing me to take my hubby’s credit cards and go buy something, buy what you ask, it didn’t matter as long as I bought something, and that’s the truth.  I still have moodiness that is hard to control, one day I will be best friends with someone and the next day they won’t talk to me due to the conversation we had the night before.  My poor hubby goes through most of my ups and downs.  Whenever I tell him I love him and that he’s the best man I’ve ever had the chance in knowing, he will say, “RIGHT NOW I AM, but tomorrow I could be the OGRE of your nightmares”, and he’s kind of right.  He knows by now not to take me seriously when I’m upset so he just “rides” the storm.  But for the most part the bipolar is under control.

The one thing that upset me is how they portray the bipolar individuals in tv shows or movies.  These people always seem to be OFF THE CHARTS mentally ill.  That is not bipolar.  Bipolar really isn’t a mental condition it’s a MOOD DISORDER.  But the way these shows depict us people get scared and get all kinds of false ideas when they meet someone who is bipolar.  Another thing that needs to be addressed is when a bipolar person gets upset, mad or happy, our loved ones and those close to us ALWAYS attribute it to the BIPOLAR.  It’s like we can’t have these emotions just NORMALLY, it always has to be the bipolar, thus we are not taken seriously.  They assume these emotions will change tomorrow or in some cases like mine in the next ten minutes; (I have rapid cycling bipolar).  We can’t just be mad at someone because they did something we didn’t like, noooo it was because we were just moody and tomorrow we will be fine with what they upset us about.   Or if we get very happy (warning: don’t smile too broadly or laugh too loudly) they will think were manic and start looking at us strange like will she fly the cuckoos nest sometime soon, or will she break down crying.  This just ISN’T RIGHT!

What I don’t like is how apathetic these bipolar meds can make you.  They can make you so apathetic that you don’t have emotions.  I feel bad for the person who is getting their medication adjusted because the doctor feels that if your sedated it’s better than being manic and you could wind up on a drug like Seroquel and sleep all day.  Most of these drugs make you gain weight and then they wonder why Brittney Spears is having trouble keeping her stick thin figure.  She’s lucky she has any energy at all.  Some people who take these drugs take a stimulant or are so hooked on caffeine to counteract the tiredness that causes problems in their behavior too.  I liked my manic episodes at times, they made me feel alive and passionate about things.  Sure I did take them too far and not all my behavior was appropriate but I still enjoyed them.  One time I was getting my hair done at home and had all these tin foils in my hair waiting for my color to take, I told my friend who was doing it to get in the car we had to go to the store and get lottery tickets and cigarettes.  She couldn’t believe it, my hubby told her to please go with me and drive so I wouldn’t get in trouble.  (he knew when I was like that to just deal with it the most tactful way possible).  The people at the store knew me so it didn’t shock them (at least they didn’t show it facially).  My poor hairdresser didn’t come over and do my hair again for a long time.  Until she understood what it was I suffered from.

Well in a short synopsis, I drive an hour and a half every Tuesday to therapy at Henry Ford Hospital, for my PTSD of Iran, childhood sexual abuse, and my life in a nutshell.  I also now have a benign brain tumor that is now 10% into my brain and growing.  I also suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, I’ve had my hip replaced already, and am on a blood thinner due to suffering from 4 lung embolisms after I snorted some Soma and Ritalin *(back in 2007).  But on the bright side I went thru rehab in 2008 and now speak at the rehab hospital once a month on my book, my experiences and my recovery.  This talk motivates, inspires and gives hope to those that think their lives are in dire straits.  (well they tell me it does this and the patients share with me how much these talks help them) I love talking with them and the first time I did, I kept thinking I was narcissistic for standing up in front of a group of people to tell them about my life.  But when they started lining up to hug me and tell me how much hope it gave them as well as inspiration to quit, and some even had tears in their eyes, well that made me the happiest that I’d been in a LONNNGGGG time!  My book is sold in their gift shop and profits go to the rehab hospital.  But that is ALL I have going in my life right now.  I sit home, live on the computer, talk to my cats all day, and exercise everyday (MAYBE) for 30 minutes.  Then I wait for the SIMPSONS to come on, and then I know it’s evening.  I get up every night at 330am and eat ice cream and watch “BEWITCHED”, “I DREAM OF JEANNIE” and if I really stay up long , “THE JACK BENNY SHOW”  I’m on permanent disability so I have NOTHING TO DO.

So if there is anyone out there that has suggestions for me on doing something, not gardening or crocheting, but something they know of for sure that I could help someone with either from my home pc or other, PLEASE let me know.

NOW I WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIFE STORY, or at least a day in the life of SOMEONE WITH ISSUES! 🙂

The reason I wrote this was because I was sick of playing Candy Crush Saga, and other FB games and wanted to do something that MIGHT be productive for other people too.  They say if you talk about things its the first step in helping your mind deal with them.  So I’m dealing with a boring existence that therapy has numbed by severe PTSD to a minimum level, but due to the disability I’m going NUTS AT HOME with NOTHING TO DO!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES!

*** For those of you who haven’t read my book or know me, the links below should help you out in that aspect.  I also have had a mini-documentary done on the Discover Channel and am looking for more opportunities like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se-NTRWCJIU (Discovery Channel documentary-THIRD STORY in a series of three)
My current promotion to raise money for the charities I support.
Advertisements

Field of Flowers Award

I received the Field Of Flowers Award, from a great blogger,  Raani York, http://raaniyork.wordpress.com/

Thank you so much, Raani!! It really made my day to be awarded this from someone such as yourself whom I admire greatly.  I love the flowers and PURPLE is my favorite color.

The rules for this bright and beautiful award are:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you
  2. Place the award on your blog
  3. Nominate 7 other bloggers and write a little something why you are giving these bloggers a ‘field of flowers’
  4. Let your nominees know that you have nominated them

I am nominating and sending flowers to:

1. Rosemary “MAMIE” Adkins.  http://extraordinaryireland.blogspot.com/  She is a continued FRIEND who has been by my side always.  What a gem!

2.  Micki Peluso http://www.mallie1025.blogspot.com/  has been through so much in life yet she remains positive.  What a role model for ALL.

3.  Delinda McCaan.  http://delindalmccann.weebly.com/blog.html  She has had so many health problems and has maintained a positive attitude in life that we ALL can learn from her upbeat and steadfast life.

4.  Tammie Clark Gibbs.  http://www.tammieclarkegibbs.com/  WHAT A REMARKABLE WOMAN!!! She has soooo much on her plate yet she goes OUT OF HER WAY to help everyone around her, or anyone who asks.  Sometimes I don’t think she takes care of herself because she’s too busy taking care of everyone else.

5.  Debra Kamza.  http://ampbreia.wordpress.com/  Debra can relate to what I went through in Iran, she also had an explosive relationship with her Iranian husband and lost her son to him.  You should read her book, I couldn’t put it down, “Lost in Foreign Passions”.

6.  Raani York.  http://raaniyork.wordpress.com/  I know she nominated me, but I wouldn’t feel right not nominating her because she fits all the qualifications and is a WONDERFUL WOMAN and writer.

7.  Linneann.   http://linneann.wordpress.com/  This special lady can put emotions on paper that we can’t even find the words for and she describes situations too perfectly.

I hope from the bottom of my heart that I brought some happiness and pride into the blogging life of my fellow writers! You all are so amazing!! I think I couldn’t have made a better choice!

If I didn’t mention you today it definitely in no way says you are not a great blogger, but I could only pick 7, if I could pick 20 you all would be in there!

Share this:

Blog of the Year 2013

Blog of the Year 2013

It is hard to believe we are already nearing the end of 2013. Time has passed oh-so quickly with reflections of happiness, sorrow, hardships and miracles but not a single one without many, many blessings in their midst. Today my day was made even more joyous when Raani York  and her http://raaniyork.wordpress.com BLOG nominated Lori’s Song Blog for Blog of the Year Award 2013. This earned me my first star of the six. Thank you so much, Raani. I’d like to give this star back to you. Visit her blog, be inspired and follow her for you will never be disappointed! God bless you and thank you for your many, many visits and most of all, for recognizing Lori’s Song Blog for the Blog of the Year 2013 award.

Blog of The Year 2013 Award

Lori’s Song star from Raani York

Now, on to the best part…paying the award forward.

1 Select the blog(s) you think deserve the ‘Blog of the Year 2013’ Award.

2 Write a blog post and tell us about the blog(s) you have chosen – there are no minimum or maximum number of blogs required – and ‘present’ the blog(s) with their award.

3 Let the blog(s) that you have chosen know that you have given them this award and share the instructions with them – (please don’t alter the instructions or the badges!)

4 Come over and say hello to the originator of the ‘Blog of the Year 2013’ Award via this link –http://thethoughtpalette.co.uk/blog-awards-2/blog-of-the-year-2013-award/

5 You can now also join the ‘Blog of the Year’ Award Facebook page – click the link herehttps://www.facebook.com/groups/BlogoftheYear/ and share your blog posts with an even wider audience.

6 And as a winner of the award – please add a link back to the blog that presented you with the award – and then proudly display the award on your blog … and start collecting stars…

Blog of The Year 2013 Award

Yes – that’s right – there are stars to collect!

Unlike other awards which you can only add to your blog once – this award is different!

When you begin you will receive the ‘1 star’ award – and every time you are given the award by another blog – you can add another star!

There are a total of 6 stars to collect.

Which means that you can check out your favourite blogs – and even if they have already been given the award by someone else – you can still bestow it on them again and help them to reach the maximum 6 stars! You can either ‘swap’ your badge for the next one each time you are given the award – or even proudly display all six badges if you are lucky enough to be presented with the award six times!

CONGRATULATIONS!

CONGRATULATIONS to the following, here is your first star (may be your second, could even be your third) but it is the first from me!  Each of you carries your own special talents and words of wisdom. Thank you for your inspiration, which always seems to arrive when needed. And do not pay any attention to the order the names are presented, God bless you all!

Blog of The Year 2013 Award

You are all dear to my heart!

ScrollDividerHeart2

http://raaniyork.wordpress.com/

http://extraordinaryireland.blogspot.com/

http://catnipoflife.wordpress.com

http://taylorfulks.com/blog/

http://delindalmccann.weebly.com/blog.html

http://www.mallie1025.blogspot.com/

http://clancytucker.blogspot.com.au/

http://linneann.wordpress.com/

http://ampbreia.wordpress.com/

http://www.tammieclarkegibbs.com/

http://cynthiaswordsandpassion.blogspot.com/

http://www.rlcherry.com/about-r-l-cherry/

I hope I’ve done this right!!!

Thank you all for your unending support and being part of a circle of friends that mean a lot to me.  I hope I haven’t left anyone out.

Loti

Featured Author: Peter John

Featured Author:

Peter John

Peter John

  1. Please introduce yourself. Tell us a little about the person behind the pen.

I was born blue (I am not a smurf) back in 1973. My Mother had a hysterectomy straight after giving birth to me, which I has always felt a little insecure about. It was as if she had taken one look at me and decided, there and then, that she wasn’t going to have another one of me. Coupled with the fact that I have been told that I was an accident, I am left wondering if I am even supposed to be here on this Earth. When she got back to the ward, a nurse had sat her down and explained that I had stopped breathing and had turned a funny blue colour, while she was in the operating theatre; it was only by chance that another patent had seen me laying there and had alerted the hospital staff of my condition. I had survived my first day alive by the skin of teeth that I had yet to grow and each following day seemed easy by comparison.

It wasn’t until I had reached the ripe old age of fourteen that I discovered the desire to write and I have been indulging that desire ever since.

***

2.   What made you decide to write (the genre of your book), were there any influencing factors, or were any of the stories based on true events.   

I decided to write a paranormal comedy because of all the years that I have spent listening to my mother talk about the many spiritual readings that she has attended in her life. While the main plot of my book is not based on true events, several incidents within it most definitely are.

***

3.   How do you promote your book, and do you find that difficult or just par for the course.

I find that book promotion is harder and more time consuming that the actual writing itself. My view on promotion techniques fall down to a simple concept: People will hear the sound of one voice but the sound of many voices will make people listen. Independent doesn’t mean that you have to face this world alone.

***

4.   Do you remember your first review and how it made you feel?  (If it was a bad one, also tell about your good one too).

My first review was a wonderful one that suddenly appeared halfway through my first ever free promotion. The timing couldn’t have been better and, if I ever get the chance, I would like to thank that individual from the bottom of my heart. I was inexperienced and unsure of myself, that first review gave me a sense of hope that I have yet to lose.

***

5.   Tell us about your book and if it’s a series and how the public is reacting to this book.

Dead Medium Cover Art

Dead Medium is a humorous look at life after death. It revolves around May Elizabeth Trump, a grouchy old woman with little time for other people. May dies and becomes the rarest of ghosts, a dead medium: a ghost who can communicate with the living. It’s filled with larger than life characters, humorous one liners and an ever encroaching darkness.

***

6.     Can you share any and all links that are important to you as a person and the book?  (You can relate more to a book if you know more about the author).   

 The Trump Diary Blog   http://thetrumpdiary.wordpress.com is my Blog-site and it is also the home of my serialised prequel to Dead Medium. The Trump Diary is a documentation of May Trump’s final months prior to her untimely death.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwaZ4B3Htm8 I am rather impressed by this video by Puddingtane Productions.

The Rekindled Affair Kindle Cover Scaled c    This is my perma-free Dead Medium Spin-Off Short Story http://www.amazon.com/Rekindled-Affair-Peter-John-ebook/dp/B00FOF8W8I

http://www.amazon.com/Peter-John/e/B00B0MNUVI

http://deadmediumpeterjohn.webs.com

https://www.facebook.com/DeadMediumbyPeterJohn

Wrapped Up In Brown Paper Cover RK    https://www.facebook.com/WrappedUpInBrownPaper

https://twitter.com/AttemptedAuthor

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6899829.Peter_John

***

7.    I’ll wrap it up with this question since “7” is a lucky numberJ.   Can you share an excerpt from your book, and I’d like to thank you so much for taking time to share your book with me. Please share as much as you’d like.

This is one of my favorite scenes where The Thursday Night Club first meet the late May Trump.

***

May watched as the four old ladies shuffled out of their coats and sat around the coffee table on. Chloe returned a few moments later with five glasses. She had left the box in the kitchen; it was obviously cake. She placed a glass in front of each of her guests and then collected their coats, which were being held up expectantly. She took them to the wall hooks in the hallway. The coats were thick and heavy, she seemed to struggle a little with the burden. When she returned she took the only vacant seat, which was opposite Barbara.

“Oh do you need a corkscrew?” Chloe said as she started to rise back out of her seat.

“No dear, it’s not a posh plonk.” Victoria said as she unscrewed the wine bottle.

“So we should start with introductions I guess,” Barbara said as Victoria filled the waiting glasses.

“Of course,” Chloe agreed. “My name is Chloe Saunders and I’m so very glad you all were able to come tonight.”

“Yes I remember you from Gracie’s don’t I?” Deborah said. “I’m Deborah but you can call me Debs if you like.” Margaret reached out for her glass.

“My name’s Margaret,” she greeted as she sipped her wine.

“And Victoria you met earlier today as well,” Barbara pointed out. “Now what seems to be the problem?” Chloe took a deep breath; they had gone over this initial statement many times.

“My mum has recently passed away,” Chloe announced.

“God bless her soul,” Deborah interrupted her with the best of intentions.

“Yes bless her soul,” Victoria agreed, raising her glass. They gave a toast to Penny and then Chloe continued.

“It has been a hard time for me, which has been made even more disturbing by some strange events that have recently been occurring in this very house.” Each of the group leaned forward in their seats.

“Ever since my mother died, I’ve been hearing strange sounds and even voices in the night. Things that I have never previously experienced. To tell you the truth, I’m beginning to feel quite uneasy living here.” May and Penny listened intently, the speech had been a joint effort.

“I need to know if the spirit of my dear departed mother still resides here. I‘m at the end of my tether, I‘m worried I might be losing my mind.” Margaret reached over and patted Chloe lightly on the hand.

“You’re not going mad dear,” she soothed. “During time of stress, your judgement can become clouded. If we can’t find any evidence of your mother’s spirit here, don’t worry yourself. You’re probably just reacting normally; this is a particularly traumatic time in your life.” The rest of the group nodded in agreement.

“That’s only if we don’t discover anything supernatural here tonight” Barbara confidently added.

“Drink some wine, settle your nerves,” Victoria suggested. “It’s alright; I’ve got another bottle in my bag.” Chloe picked up her glass and took a token sip.

“I think we should start by lighting some candles,” Barbara suggested.

“Always with the candles, I don’t see how they help?” Victoria groaned. Barbara pulled four small, red tea-light candles from her bag.

“They work I tell you!” Barbara said as she placed the candles on the table. She put coasters underneath them to protect the wooden surface.

“How do you know?” Victoria asked, “Have you ever tried without them?”

“We have never had a reaction from the spirit world without them,” Margaret pointed out. Victoria looked over at her.

“We have never been without them to know!” Victoria said. Deborah put her hand in the air.

“I quite like them; I think they’re rather pretty,” she announced.

“They calm the spirits and make them more amiable and approachable.” Barbara explained as she begun to light the candles. May watched the candles burn and felt no calming effects; she was more worried about them becoming a fire hazard. Penny seemed to like them, however, so maybe Barbara did have something there.

“We should all hold hands around the table now,” Barbara said, reaching out to Deborah and Victoria who were sitting either side of her on the sofa. Victoria swapped her wine glass to her free hand. Margaret, who was in one of the arm chairs, could just reach Deborah’s other hand. Victoria quickly downed the last of her wine before putting the empty glass down and taking Chloe’s hand across the table; she had to move one of the candles for fear of burning herself. Chloe reached out with her other hand and held Margaret’s free hand at an uncomfortable stretch. They looked a little awkward and unevenly stretched.

“It’s usually more comfortable with a round table,” Barbara pointed out, even though she had the position of greatest comfort. May walked around the group and tried to work out who was going to fall out of their seat first. Her money was on Chloe; she seemed to be making the most effort to be within reach.

“Right then, if you would all now try to relax,” Barbara instructed.

“Not likely!” Victoria pointed out.

“Well try your best, it helps.”

“What as much as the candles?”

“Please Vicky we are trying to help young Chloe put her demons to rest. Can you please concentrate,” Barbara closed her eyes. She started to hum softly and sway a little, or as much as the conditions would allow.

“Come hither to us restless spirits. Tell us your woes and let us help guide you on the path to peace and contentment.” Margaret leaned towards Chloe slightly, which in turn threatened to lift Deborah from her seat.

“She wrote those chants herself,” Margaret whispered. “They’re rather good don’t you think?” Chloe smiled back at her, either way the words were pointless. The ghosts were already present and waiting.

May still wasn’t sure about the initial greeting that they had finally agreed upon. She was worried that it was a corny, stereotypical way to instigate communication. She Stood by the doorway and cupped her hands over her mouth, in an attempt to create a muffled echoic voice.

“Woo!” she called out self consciously. The group reacted with surprise and Chloe tried to mimic them.

“What was that?” Margaret yelled in shock.

“Keep concentrating everyone; I think we’ve got something here,” Barbara said.

“Woo…woo! Who disturbs the cosmic forces and summons me to this place?” May said as she began to get into the swing of it. Margaret‘s shock seemed to give way to nervous confusion.

“It is I, Madam Smith of the Inner Circle of Sacred Seers, who summons you here today,” Barbara replied. Her voice sounded confident but her facial expression suggested that this was probably her first real spectral encounter.

“For what reason do you summon me into your presence?” May was beginning to ad-lib a little. Margaret kept trying to grab Barbara’s attention. Deborah was a white as a sheet and Victoria was trying to reach for the wine bottle, while still not releasing Chloe’s hand.

“Barbara!” Margaret called but appeared to be ignored. She tugged at Deborah’s arm to get her attention but Deborah was as stiff as a pole.

“We summon you here today to help Young Chloe Saunders ease her suffering after the passing of her mother. Are we speaking to Penny Saunders?” Barbara called out.

“No I am not she,” May replied through her cupped hands. “She’s standing over by the window.” Margaret clearly wasn’t having any more of this charade as she released her grip from Deborah’s and Chloe’s hands and stood up from her chair. Victoria took the opportunity to release Chloe’s other hand and make a grab for the wine bottle.

***Peter John is a colleague of mine and I strongly recommend you perusing his books 🙂 

Thank you Peter for accepting my interview request.

My view on Iranian women and Iran.

-3_011_1_-264x172-282x197-177x117

Hi all, this is an article I researched and wrote back on Christmas 2009.  That day I had been thinking about my Christmas’s in Iran, and although I despise what happened to me, these women and girls (my students) made me feel warm and welcomed in a country where I was put into the most judgmental spot of all by Mohammad’s family.  Iranian women are strong women they have to be, and in this country these woman accepted me and knew nothing of my past to judge me by and made me feel more secure in a female relationship than I even have felt in the USA.   And also remember what these women must endure.  When and if their daughter is hung (due to boredom by her husband so he accuses her of adultery) the COMPASSIONATE thing these barbaric men do and consider compassionate is to allow the mother to walk the daughter to the noose and spend a few minutes with her.  These women are strong, as we all are, but I wanted to let you into the world I lived in for four years.           (**BY NO WAY AM I ENCOURAGING YOU TO VISIT IRAN!!!!)  I hope you enjoy and become enlightened.  I wrote this for helium and it was the number one article for quite some time.  Lori

The condition of women in the Middle Eastscan0001-318x211[1]

*My students in Iran, Layla on the right was drowned in her fathers swimming pool for not being a virgin on her wedding night.

If you write a study, essay or a book, be prepared to answer even the most ludicrous of questions. What may seem to you as ridiculous or common knowledge is very foreign or strange at best when viewed by others that have no clue about the boundaries outside their comfortable little world.

The mere mention of Iran invokes suspicion and a sense of backwardness, fundamentalism, and terrorism. The name brings to mind conflicting images of men-bearded, militant, hostile and not least of all chauvinist, ….and women-veiled, oppressed, and submissive. Shrouded in their black chadors (the ultimate symbol of their oppression), women on the television screen are angry, holding their hands up and chanting anti-American slogans. The women are more than willing to fight.

Westernization and US domination in the region, they contribute in the process to their own oppression. What is the truth behind these images? Is there one single truth? Are the so-called truths only media propaganda, to feed a public hungry for answers to the unknown? Are some images manufactured collages that deprive millions of people of their humanity, denying them their voice and the right to a decent proud existence? Who is the woman, the individual behind these images? Her appearance typifies the ultimate inferiority and oppression of the “second sex” in the region. But I beg to differ…From an outsiders view that had the opportunity to view within, I’d like to add the following observations of these wise, proud, highly intelligent yet tactful if not manipulative at times heroes.

The Iranian woman is oppressed yet rebellious. She is subjugated yet unruly. She is controlled yet defiant. She is hushed and subservient. She is a religious fanatic living a secluded life. She is a revolutionary, a fighter, yet segregated and oppressed. Willing to die for her nation, she is a mother and a wife. The images contradict, with each emerging to deconstruct the others. Outsiders, foreigners, and bystanders, however tend to hold onto certain characteristics of these images, unaware of the role the West has itself played in the creation and perpetuation of a certain branch of Islamic revivalism.

For them, these stereotypical attributes contain momentous significance because they remain resistant to the passage of time, oblivious to the change of governments, and blind to the dramatic socioeconomic changes that has swept the country during the twentieth century. The undue loyalty to the convoluted images-perhaps even the psychological, political, and economic need to view these differences through the lens of inferiority-has induced many a viewer to avoid questioning the validity of such images (to avoid inquiring about the politics of the region and to avoid acknowledging the complete humanity of those who live there. The mere fact of difference signifies to the outsider a lack of change, transformation, and movement through time. The outsider is perplexed because of the extremity of these images. The difference testifies to the all-encompassing superiority of anything Western.

These images while contradictory have proven most resilient; they have enshrouded reality. A thick white fog has fallen. It is a beautiful and mysterious fog, but because of it, we have lost our vision. Image and reality, dream and nightmare, illusion and everyday life all become one. A true understanding of the humanity embedded in these convoluted pictures is denied.

No single image adequately can reveal the complexity of the lives that Iranian women live. To expect a manufactured image to explain amply the existence of more than thirty million women are unrealistic; no single image adequately can reveal the totality of any one person, let alone millions of people. The diversity of individual lives defies such confinement. The reduction of the lives of millions of women to a single familiar picture that appeals to the gaze of outsiders gravely distorts reality and minimizes the complexity of cultures and of individual lives.

Do all Iranian women share a history and culture that uniformly shape women’s lives and their experience? I will post part two on this when I get back from my forced sabbatical…until then…. Fight strong and Proud Iranian women you have earned the right…

Part Two Iranian Woman

Part of my goal in doing this is to partially educate myself on the thoughts of Iranian women who are in the USA, either by choice or displaced. When one lives amongst the subjects at hand, your focus becomes very blurred and biased. That is why I’m including views from when I lived there as well as views by Iranian women who live in the USA today. Also in doing this I hope to share a certain part of Eastern culture with Americans who are ignorant to the personalities, lives and hardships of those women that live in Iran.

Therefore, this study is not about the generic title, “Iranian women”. To the degree that the label “American women” is problematic because it overlooks racial, ethnic, and class differences, the title “Iranian women” also presents its own problems. Such general terms deny women their personal qualities, obscuring their diverse backgrounds and various lifestyles.

This article is not about Islamic feminism or feminism in Iran. Women’s lives and rights in Iran have received considerable mention/attention since the early 1980’s.

The dramatic changes introduced by the Islamic Republic only a few years after its ascent to power prompted many scholars as well as students of Iran to start studying up on as well as examining closely the position of women in Iran during the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. While such study has revealed women’s veiled but volatile presence in sociopolitical domains, it has also exposed the fragile and nascent nature of modernization attempts that were begun during the Pahlavi regime.

Historical studies on Iranian women, e.g. have recorded the lives and excerpts written by individual women who tried to introduce the first schools for girls in Tehran (1907); or in other cities.

The founders of these institutions were denounced, attacked, harassed by the authorities and at times even by their own families. Ostracized and alone, these women nevertheless paved the way for the opening of the first public schools for girls by the year 1918. Despite their veiling requirements they still drove on and pushed for change.

A few years prior to these above attempts a small group of women from all social classes but mostly the upper-and upper-middle-class families became politically active, playing a noteworthy role on the side of Constitutionalists.

Condemning the Russian governments intervention in Iran’s affairs in 1911, these women formed secret societies using their veils, they transferred messages and arms to various parties involved. At the conclusion of this there were over 1000 women who were protesting Russia’s interference. In a country and at that historical milestone where society condemned any outside activity by women or ones that women were involved in were considered immoral. Despite this the women still managed to express their opinion on the future of their country. The gathering of more than one thousand veiled women outside the parliament on November 29, 1911, to reprimand the men for yielding to Russia’s ultimatum is a historical image never to be forgotten within the mind’s eye.

The Iranian Revolution started a whole new group of scholars anxious to study the frighteningly limited and oppressive lives women had lived at the turn of the 20th century. It also set the scene for these courageous and brave women to demonstrate to the world their insistence for social change and political integrity.

Historically, the “veil” created mystery; gender segregation brought seclusion, isolation and perhaps a narrow and limited worldview. Draconian laws and cultural practices created hardships for women’s mobility and their civic rights.

But the women of the 20th century showed a great deal of initiative in shaping their own destinies. If the new studies of women in 20th century Iran display or exhibit the hardships Iranian-women endured, it also brings to light their resilience and determination to change their lives.

The 1979 Revolution led to an arduous process of gender wake-up calls. Women’s lives both in the private and public realms became topics of conversation and debate. Parallel with this time frame the government tried to reverse the secular changes enforced during the 20th century to control educational opportunities and career options and instead to introduce a new image of the Muslim woman. The government was set to Islamacize the country and create an ideal Muslim image for all women to revere and embrace.

While laws, albeit secular or religiously based, affect women’s lives, their opportunities in terms of education, family life and career opportunities; and even their choice of dress style and color, women lived/live their lives both within and beyond the boundaries set forth by the government in power. Now I will start part 3 off with how these women deal with everyday life struggles and exhibit a layer of reality that reaches far beyond any concept of reality of what any government does and does not do.

Part Three Iranian Woman

POV: Moving to the USA

One woman who relocated to the USA during the revolution states the following: * Some excerpts were used with express permission by either the published authority or the women themselves.

“My move to the United States made my life both exciting and unsettling. The political turmoil in Iran further exacerbated the situation; cutting ties to my family back home. The Revolution had started and Iran was on the news every night. I remember days of darkness in 1979, living in absolute confusion about what was happening in the country not knowing if my family or people I knew were all right. All of a sudden, we, the Iranian foreign students, became the enemy, the unwanted aliens in the US. All of a sudden, our collective identity changed from being an ally and supporter of the US’s politics in the region to that of a hostile adversary. Because of this situation, the past 20 years, especially those early days- have not been easy. Living with an identity not of our own choice, an identity bestowed on us because of political expediency and international relationships, has been problematic if not excessively uncomfortable. But life goes on.

While I was never able to pick up where I left off with my sister, those topics of conversation remained as poignant as ever. After the Revolution, I had even more reasons to think about men and women, fathers and mothers, marriage and divorce. The Revolution had introduced dramatic changes that affected not only women’s civil and family rights but also men’s lives.

The old topics of conversation and issues related to women’s experiences seemed to have gained an enormous significance. These topics and related questions became sources of casual conversation with friends, colleagues, and those interested in the changes happening in Iran. However, these conversations occurred in the US with men and women who had left Iran some time ago. Obviously, our perspective was different from those who were still living in Iran.

Given the upheavals the country was going through, women’s lives were a recurring theme of conversation for those of us living abroad. Needless to say, those women were our mothers, sisters, aunts, and friends. However, while we talked about women in Iran, the voices of these women were absent from our conversations. While we talked on their behalf, trying to grasp the depth of their feelings and daily experiences, there was a grave need to hear the voices of women still living in Iran.”

My experience with Iranian women

While living in Iran from May of 1998 to November 2001, I had more than enough opportunities to listen to women directly. The women mostly talked about their lives in the present rather than speculating on them in the future. While women are supposedly the second class citizens in Iran, I learned that men depend heavily on their words, actions and look to them for advice…A paradox for me to witness was that most men in Iran were especially closer to their mothers than their fathers. While this may be due to the oldest male child takes financial responsibility of the family if anything should happen to the father is the case or not I don’t know…Or maybe it is my theory, that

(Page 6 of 9)

Created on: December 25, 2009

Islamic law has taken women out of the realm of acquaintance to men in public, thus leaving them as some great mysterious enigma, only to be figured out once an arranged marriage is in the works.
I truly believe that everything they told me was on a factual basis…I was an English instructor to many younger and older girls in Iran, both in a school and private setting. For whatever reasons these women found it easy and comforting to talk to me…Many begged to stay past their 1 ½ hour time allotted for private classes, just to continue venting.

Parisa

* All statements unless otherwise stated are those of the woman that the focus is intended upon.

One girl in particular who spoke to me, yet mimicked many thoughts of Iranian women was Parisa Nasrizadeh.

Parisa had started coming to my private English classes in July ’99…she was still a student of mine when I left Iran in 2001. Parisa’s husband had relocated to Texas, USA, and had explained to her that she and their 2-yr.old son would have to wait until he became settled before he could send for them.

Parisa was more than excited about the thought of moving to America, but after almost 2 years, the weekly telephone calls from her husband had dwindled to a monthly call if that. His attitude had changed remarkably and Parisa suspected that he had a girlfriend in Texas. Well her suspicions were well founded in December 1999, when she called her husband only to have his mistress answer the telephone.

Parisa came to my house crying and a wreck. Although she did not have a class scheduled for that day, I put off all other appt. to talk with her, she felt like she couldn’t divulge this information to her family or they would see her as a failure.

For whatever reason in Iran the family has the stigma associated to them of failure if their daughter isn’t a virgin on her wedding night, or if her once happy marriage turns sour. This puts a lot of undue pressure on the women to be all things to their husbands. Also it is law for Iranian men to retain custody of the children in a divorce; from my understanding up to age, seven they are to be with their mother and after that their father.

Parisa married young as was the tradition in Iran, and she states she gave her youth so that she could have her old age to herself.

In the beginning the marriage was a romantic dream she says, he was so kind, loving and we talked for hours on how big of a family we would have, as well as me continuing my education for my engineering degree.

He literally put the stops to that after the first year of proving his worth as a good provider and husband. All my hopes since H.S. were cremated in that second year of marriage! I was pregnant and he had just stated very matter of factly that I would not be returning to college, since my place now was in the home as a mother and wife.

I learned one thing and that was not to argue with him. We had our conflicts in the past, he had always won out, and the punishment of taking the car privileges away so that I could visit my parents was more than I could bear.

After learning that he had plans to move to the USA and that his immigration papers were approved, I felt a depth in my stomach I could not describe. It was one of living out my dreams vicariously through him, yet dreading the one day I knew would come and that was him telling me I couldn’t come to the USA.

I don’t know what made me think this way, it was a gut feeling, and so far, my gut feelings were infallible.

Upon learning of his mistress, I immediately told her to have him call his wife and son in Iran upon his return. She hung up rather aggressively. She had no right to be angry, I was the one after all that had been hurt, cheated on, betrayed, and manipulated.

He did return my call late that night, and he was very angry, upset, and yelling at me. I quietly told him that I would file for “tadiq” which is a divorce in Iran. He resisted, stating that he would be coming home in the summer to see his son. I humored him, but only until I couldn’t bear the thought of throwing my life away any longer for a man who did not love or respect me as his wife and mother of his child.

What I did next was not only looked upon as a personal failure but attributable to my family as a failure in raising me as well. My parents did not take the news well since they initiated the marriage. My father who has always been kind to his wife and us his daughters became somewhat put off. He had asked me why? I told him that he had found another woman. My fathers reply: What couldn’t you do to satisfy him? I replied nothing. My father’s last words were: You must have did or didn’t do something right so work on it and perfect it for or if there is a second chance for you.

So here I was a single parent in a society that looked down upon this. They not only found it appalling they harassed single women parents as well. Well this is when my mother became such an integral part of my life, as well as all my female friends.   will end this one account synopsis here to start Part 4 re: Mothers, Daughters, and the ties that bind…

Part Four Iranian Woman

Examining the mother-daughter relationship reveals the isolation and the powerlessness, at times, forces some mothers to turn to their daughters, most often eldest daughters, as companions, friends, or confidants. Having a mother confide in the female child brings the world of childhood to an abrupt end and puts the child in a contradictory position, forcing a too-immature entrance into the adult world and risking possible exposure to intimate but potentially disturbing aspects of the marital relationship……..While doing this I wanted to explore the various ways in which mothers have internalized the dominant societal attitudes about the superior/male and inferior/female aspects of gender relations.

The more than often-powerless position of mothers in the marital relationship perpetuates a cycle of powerlessness in the female child and critically colors her attitudes toward the father and other men. Furthermore, this situation may retard the development of both parties in the future.

While this part of the essay explores those relationships that are cherished by daughters, it also articulates the darker side of the mother-daughter bond and family interactions. Like all studies based on qualitative research, the sample in this study is small therefore caution must be taken not to generalize the findings to all mother-daughter relationships. It is important to emphasize the variability in mother-daughter relationships and avoid attributing universal and invariant features to them.

Many women cherish close relationships with their mothers and have developed lifelong friendships. But I wanted to explore the multifaceted and nourishing relationship-a vital relationship without which the survival of the family institution as we know it today would be jeopardized. It also examines the ways in which patriarchy harms women and retards the development of happy and fulfilling relationships between men and women, husbands and wives, and mothers and daughters.

“HER PAIN IS MY PAIN”

When I discuss the mothers I would like to clarify the group in which this is focused on which would be; a cohort of women who were born between the early 1920’s and the late 1930’s. For most Iranian women of this generation, marriage was not a personal choice based on romantic love. Rather, it was viewed as a family affair, decided by the parents of the young couple. All of the mothers with one exception had married men chosen by their parents. It must be noted that it was not only women who entered into blind marriages. The men whose mothers chose a wife for them and whose fathers approved of the choice also entered into marriage blindly. There were also occasions where the fathers gave their consent without consulting either the mother or their daughters.

Therefore, an arranged marriage was a blind contract for both partners, often entered into with either minimal or no prior knowledge of the other person’s appearance or personality.

The mothers typically married at a young age, moved to a new house that they most often shared with the husband’s relatives, were considerably younger than their husbands, and were expected to abide by cultural perceptions about appropriate gender roles. These factors led to unequal life-long marital relationships. Thus upon starting a new life, the couple played their roles according to societal expectations and dominant traditions that dictated an unequal relationship between the two partners. This in turn created the situation in where the women live in them.

So as I have mentioned, Iranian woman is oppressed yet rebellious. She is subjugated yet unruly. She is controlled yet defiant. She is hushed and subservient. She is a religious fanatic living a secluded life. She is a revolutionary, a fighter, yet segregated and oppressed. Willing to die for her nation, she is a mother and a wife. The images contradict, with each emerging to deconstruct the others. Outsiders, foreigners, and bystanders, however tend to hold onto certain characteristics of these images, unaware of the role the West has itself played in the creation and perpetuation of a certain branch of Islamic revivalism!

And in an important synopsis is to end DOMESTIC VIOLENCE against women in ALL COUNTRIES!!!   ____Stop_Violence_Women

        Learn more about this author, Lori Foroozandeh.

Liebster Blog Award

The Liebster Blog Award is given to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers. Liebster is German for favorite. This award is the favorite blog award.”
The rules for this one state that you answer the 11 questions asked of you by the Blogger who gave you this award. These would be questions for me from Rosemary aka Mamie.
I really appreciate your nomination Thank you very much!!!
This is a repost due to my last blog disappearing on me.   But rest assured I am the MASTER OF MY OWN DOMAIN NOE!:)
These were my 11 questions with my answers that Rosemary asked those that she gave the award to, me being one of the LUCKY ones.
1. What or who influenced you to write? My experience in Iran. Then I realized I
had more to give than just that, my life was an experience to be shared and
hopefully inspire others to overcome their “demons”.

2. Are you
currently working on another book? No

3. What is your favorite past
time? Playing with my two “kitties”. well they are actually cats but will always
be my “kitties”. They were there for me all the time I was writing this book.
That is why some of the profits of my book goes towards HSUS. Pets are wonderful
and love you no matter WHAT!

4. If you could travel anywhere in the
world, where would it be and why? I don’t think I would go anywhere outside of
the USA due to what happened to me in Iran. It really made me appreciate what a
great country we have and shouldn’t take our freedoms or rights for granted. Nor
should we abuse or manipulate them.

5. What advise would you give
someone that is thinking about writing a book? Do an online search and review
the comments on the publisher that your going to sign with. Whether it’s a print
on demand publisher or a well-known one, always check out their references and
track records.

6. If you had to select a public office to hold, what
would you choose for yourself and why? None, it’s too complicated. Politics are
just too upsetting for me after what I had to deal with when I was in Dubai
asking our USA embassy to help me get back home. They made me sign a
non-disclosure agreement just to get home. Thank God once getting here we have
freedom of speech so that non-disclosure agreement meant nothing.

7.
Do you have any hobbies? Not really, I am on the computer alot, ALOT more since
I’ve joined this site and started meeting other people with the same interest.
And I also just started a gym…but we will hold out on that decision to make it
a hobby until after my circuit training today:)

8. Where is your
favorite restaurant and favorite food to eat?
I don’t really have one. If I
went on the choice of desserts alone I’d have to say BIG BOY, their fudge
brownie sundae is to die for! Thats my fallback…desserts!

9. What is
your fondest memory?
When John kept being so persistent even though I was
ignoring him for a relationship. I never thought I’d be in love again and didn’t
trust ANYONE, then he sold his John Deere Dealership so he could stay home and
take care of me after I returned from Iran…

10. What is your favorite
movie or TV series? Big Bang Theory

There you go, now what is next in
order to claim the award, and what award button are you talking about…remember
I’m naieve to these sites on blogs:)

11. What is your reason for
writing?

Let’s BLOG together!

This site is to share thoughts and views with other authors on subjects such as: PTSD, Depression, Bipolar, Substance abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse and other meaningful topics that we all can learn, contribute to or just utilize as a tool to get to know one another:)

I’ve written my true story on my captivity in Iran during 911.  My book details my childhood of abuse, my four years in Iran living with a terrorist, and my journey home. But the journey had just begun upon arriving on American soil.  But it was one worth taking and fighting for.  I hope we all become good blogging “buddies” and learn, talk but are respectful of one another.  I appreciate you coming to visit.