Our supposed “WAR ON TERRORISM”…..really a WAR ON US!!

 

 

 

 

I just watched American Sniper and OMG, there are such blatant issues that ANYONE SHOULD SEE.
1. First- WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET INVOLVED with other countries problems and think we have to send OUR BOYS/MEN IN to get killed in wars we even aren’t involved in the first place.
2. We send our people in to fight wars, they come back disabled, and PTSD and they act in ways never before seen to them or their families. We destroy people,, kids, and lives of families all FOR NOTHING!!!
I’m sorry I was in the Middle East and unless you’re a child that WAS JUST BORN that day, you’re not innocent. These children are being trained as soon as their able to walk and their trained to kill AMERICANS!!! There are no innocent bystanders. This movie will show you just that. There are mothers who give their children bombs to go and become a suicide bomber and their goal is to kill Americans!
3. WHY THE HELL don’t we just BOMB the fricking areas that these so called insurgents were congregated in. Instead we send in our troops in to walk around in these towns where there are snipers kids with RPG’s, and IED’s to blow up our Hummers that have disabled so many vets if not killed them., so our troops get killed and disabled one at a time, when we could have just put in an airstrike and bombed the entire town.
It would save our guys/gals lives.
4. People bitch about money that it costs to go to war, well people it also cost money for health care and mental health care for our soldiers when they return from these wars and usually the treatment is for life, not just for a set amount of time. And what’s worse are some Vets are being turned away for treatment due to funding. How DARE WE TREAT the people who are willing to die for us like that!!!
5. We know exact locations of these clusters of terrorist/insurgents why don’t we just BOMB these areas or screw it bomb the whole fricking country to save our people. If you can’t do this then either STAY OUT OF other countries wars and take care of our own. We were not involved personally in Viet Nam, Korea or the Middle East, our country was not threatened, yet our presidents seem to think that we need to be the ultimate “SAVIORS” for others.
6. We are not a land of freedom but rather a CONTROLLED DEMOCRACY. This country’s leaders don’t listen to the people or take care of their own. There are WAY TOO MANY HUMAN rights issues that are preventing us from just going in and ending a war within a few months by bombing places and taking out those that threaten us. Or better yet why don’t our government just keep their noses out of other countries businesses.

Sure we just got “same sex marriages approved” WHAT WAS THIS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KEEPING OUR SOLDIERS SAFE. A lot of money was put into this issue and I wonder where the hell the priorities in this government are.
We have hundreds of soldiers dying monthly and we put our priority into this. I’m sorry this sounds so caustic and overbearing on behalf of some peoples ideals but it’s my opinion and I’m allowed to express it……Wait Mr. President and others in government “AM I ALLOWED to EXPRESS THIS???? God knows I was supposedly NOT allowed to come back to the USA and tell my story of what happened to me and others in Iran, since they made me sign a non-disclosure agreement. So I was just checking? Oh HELL I’m SAYING IT ANYWAY!!
If anyone is interested in what happened to me in Iran they can go tohttp://www.loris-song.com ALL PROFITS go to CHARITY! So this is not a promotional post, but it is a READ THIS AND SHARE THE INFORMATION POST! TYVM for listening and hopefully commenting.

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Thank you for your response. ✨

 

9-11-2014 A time for US to reflect and for US to be GREATFUL, PROUD, and THANKFUL to live in “OUR COUNTRY!!!”.

9/11-  A TIME TO REMEMBER, LEARN, and say THANK YOU!

On this 9/11, I am writing to compare how I felt then with now, and what has changed or changed me from that experience.

Now I want you all to write down how you felt back in 2001 compared to now, and what or if you do anything differently due to that event.  This within itself will show you how you’ve either changed or took it in stride. (9/11).

I feel this is cathartic for me and maybe it can be something like that for you.  I know most of America experienced a horror that they thought would never be seen in their life.

9-11-2001:  THEN

I was living in Iran at this time and had been since 1998. Prior to 9/11 I had been teaching English to Persian (Iranian) girls and women.  These girls became my best friends and could ask me questions after class that they wouldn’t dare ask their parents or anyone else.  These were simple questions like when do girls & boys start dating, and etal.  I kept their secret and we shared each others cultural differences and what we thought about them.

On 9/11/2001 I was being told by Mohammad that we needed to get out of IRAN in case America wanted to retaliate against the Middle East.  I asked why they would, he didn’t answer fully, just gave me some silly remark about Osama Bin Laden was going to increase the price of tobacco to get even with the US.  That sounded ridiculous but I was ecstatic as hell to be on our way home  i.e. USA!!!  When I arrived in Iran I was told I would need my husbands written permission to leave the country of Iran.  That was never going to happen.  Mohammad was your proverbial Muslim, wife is nothing but a slave, and he can do whatever he wants and get away with it.  E.G. beat her in the street, sell her to his friends for sex or drugs amongst other things.

I was also aware that something was going to happen today (9/11/2001) because I had heard rumors and gossip while Mohammad was speaking with all his friends in these nightly meetings.  I knew SOMETHING BAD was going to happen, I didn’t know where or what, but something.  I tried to call home on the 9th, 10th and 11th and was told that NO INTERNATIONAL CALLS WERE BEING ALLOWED THROUGH AT THAT TIME.  This recording every single day I tried to call the states.

9-12-2001:

We packed and went to the bus terminal to take a bus to Istanbul and then catch a plane from there home.  I still had NO IDEA of what really happened.  Five to ten minutes after showing our passports and paying for our tickets, these two troop type carrier trucks pulled up and blindfolded and handcuffed me and took me into one of the trucks, and Mohammad supposedly went into another.  (when you read my book you will see why he didn’t).

The events that took place for the next six weeks was total brutality of rape, starvation, beatings,  and many mind games.  I won’t use too many descriptions so that I don’t give the book away.  But I can say this these are actual event, not exaggerated and totally true.

  • GOD spoke to me in that camp and told me I was going home!
  • I didn’t really do any thinking or praying in the camp because when your faced with the thought of death every minute of everyday then your mind is always in high gear and all you can do is try to survive the moment that your in right then.
  • Upon arriving back in the USA on 11-14-2001, I kissed the ground after getting out of the terminal.  I at that time weighed in at around 70 pounds, most of my teeth were knocked out.  I had been beaten, raped and starved.  BUT I WAS SO EXCITED to be in my home country again, where I KNEW the rules and culture and didn’t need my husbands written permission to leave the country!
  • I appreciate the USA more than anyone I think because I lived in a country full of false type prophets who beat, robbed and tortured people yet claimed to be doing all of it in the name of GOD/ ALLAH;   and these people were RUNNING THE COUNTRY!
  • I have read the Qur’an and NO WHERE in it does it say to treat your wives and women the way they do.  It does not say to murder or torture those of a different religion or country.  The Qur’an dictates peace and to only kill in Allah’s name when absolutely necessary.  It denotes peace of all mankind, and the Muslims interpret it the way they WANT TO so that they can have a justified means to take out their anger, violence and murderous tendencies on others.
  • A lot of religions will interpret their Holy Book to the means necessary for which they desire to achieve.  The Muslims are not the only ones.    I still have many questions about those six weeks in that camp.  I was never interrogated, just raped, beaten and starved with so many others.

WE HAVE TO REALIZE HOW THANKFUL WE SHOULD BE ON A DAILY BASIS, to live in this beautiful country, although not flawless, we have our freedom, our ability to say no to men, we have life in our country that most countries around the world will not ever achieve or experience in their lifetime.

This country brings a lot of hope and promise to people!  Sure the Democrats and Republicans will never agree, but at least we are not  forced to abide by some type of dictatorship.  We will always have our freedoms that are spelled out in the constitution.

I hope that if you read my book you will see the atrocious acts that were carried out in Iran and WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED to happen in the USA.   The profits from the book go to Amnesty Intl. and HSUS, and HFH neurology division, and the Brighton Rehab hospital.

I think once you experience a country like Iran and then return to the USA …if your lucky, you will develop a whole new desire to be thankful and grateful everyday of your life here, because you will never have to experience:

  • People getting executed due to not being a Muslim in a Muslim dictated country such as Iran, Iraq, etal.
  • An honor killing of a daughter who gets drowned in her father’s swimming pool for not being a virgin on her wedding night.  (Happened to my student, Layla).
  • Women and young girls being beaten or having machine guns held to their heads because they have too much HAIR showing out of their head coverings.
  • Women and young girls being beaten out on the street and everyone just watches and agrees that they are getting what they deserve for their disobedience.
  • You will never be beat for asking a question about American girls and boys.
  • You will never see women getting hung in a town square in front of everyone even children, and then what they think is compassionate is to ALLOW the mother to go spend five minutes with her daughter at the noose before she is hung by a construction crane.

I am almost glad to a degree that I did witness these things because you really never know until you see it first hand that it truly is REAL!   We are entitled Americans and none of us will ever change until something like what happened to me happens to them; And GOD I PRAY IT NEVER DOES!!!   Then they will understand the who’s, whys, and what’s.

The reason I wrote this was to compare how I felt then with now,  and to somehow get out of this apathetic depression I’m in.

9-11-2014

I still to this day sleep a lot of the time sitting up, because for six weeks I was handcuffed to Faresh ( a girl from Bahrain). And we couldn’t lie down or we’d be kicked or hit in the head, so we had to “REST” and supposedly “SLEEP” sitting with our backs to each other.  We had a lot of chain between the cuffs so we had room to just sit back to back to support each other.  So now I sleep sitting up, go figure.  Not only that I’m in the middle of getting more dental implants to replace all the teeth that were knocked out in the camp.  And I’m going through the worst pain in my back and hip due to needing spinal fusion in several different places but the doctor refusing to do it, due to my history of blood clots in my lungs on two occasions.

I WILL GET THRU my downfalls, and I will always be thankful for my GOD and country, and I know that most of my friends on FB, are very enlightened, intelligent individuals who will understand my way of TRYING TO WRITE this as a tribute while allowing others to see into my emotions and another country. :) :).

Please write a list today of the top five things you love about this country, and share them in the comments section if you would.  Then for each one THANK GOD for allowing you the privilege of living in this country, where your rights and individual beliefs are not only allowed, but to be looked upon without prejudice or bias.

I would GREATLY APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK.  I don’t think this day ever gets totally “OK” or “BETTER” for us, it just gets to be tolerable and a time to think back.  Don’t ever let this be a time to FORGET!

Those 2750 victims should not have died in vain.

Their families and loved ones should not suffer in vain.  We need to remember them and the tragedies they suffered that day.

I don’t allow myself to forget, I use my experience to help others.  I am speaking once a month at Brighton Rehab hospital about my book and experience.  I was so speechless the first time I spoke and got not only a standing ovation but a line of about 50 people waiting to hug me.  These guys with tattoos all over their necks and arms would come up to me with tears in their eyes and tell me that if I could get thru that then they could survive getting clean.  That was one of the most emotional times of my life to know that what I’m doing is truly ACCOMPLISHING SOMETHING FOR OTHERS!

Please visit my website and be sure to buy my book on Amazon,  All profits from my book go to Amnesty International, HSUS, Henry Ford Hospital, Brighton Rehab hospital.

http://www.loris-song.com

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20

Thank you for reading this and leaving your comments.  God Bless, Lori

VIRTUAL EBOOK FAIR- READERS & AUTHORS take note :)

 

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READERS & AUTHORS CARRY YOUR FRIENDS TO OUR
VIRTUAL EBOOK FAIR!!!

JULY 26th & 27th  VIRTUAL EBOOK FAIR

Hosted by Award winning author: Tammie Clark Gibbs.    This is where Authors can share their work and answer questions about their writings to READERS.

READERS: this is where you can peruse new books from best selling authors and award winning authors.  You will definitely find the book your looking for to EXCITE YOUR MIND!

This is an event for GENERAL AUDIENCES, NO EROTICA PLEASE.

READERS: Please visit http://www.virtualebookfair.com/ to sign up for giveaways and a FREE subscription to Reader’s Rock Digital Magazine! http://www.virtualebookfair.com/  This magazine is having it’s ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF SUCCESS- also put together by the hardworking, bestselling  author Tammie Clark Gibbs.

Make sure you visit these sites to join and sign up for extras.

THANK YOU!  And FYI- I’m being featured in the anniversary edition starting on Page 12!

My award winning book, “Lori’s Song” is being featured.  This is my true story of my life of substance abuse, child molestation, getting married to an IRANIAN TERRORIST and not knowing it until I arrived in IRAN and found out you need your husband’s written permission to leave the country.  I was there almost four years until 9/11 happened, the day after this I was captured and put into a POW type camp where I was raped, tortured and starved for six weeks.  The rest of the story you will have to read!  Either by winning one of my EBOOKS at the fair or purchasing it on Amazon (paperback, hardcover and kindle).   http://www.amazon.com/dp/1432738291/?tag=viewbookat0e-20

My website is www.loris-song.com  I also have a Discovery Channel Docu-Drama at          the 28minute mark to start. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se-NTRWCJIU  and my own YOUTUBE  Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j85rYnZ4YYU

ENJOY THE FAIR….BUT YOU MUST JOIN FIRST so HURRY!

 

My book cover which now has TWO awards gracing it's cover :)

 

 

Sharing my day, life and issues, now it’s YOUR TURN!!

This is to encourage those that think their life is meaningless or boring to share a day or a week with me and maybe by sharing we can all laugh and maybe help each other cope.

Hi all,

I just want to share with you how my life goes dealing with the “issues” that I suffer from.  You all should know by now that I have “BIPOLAR”, “DRUG ABUSE”, “PTSD”, “DEPRESSION”, and if I’ve missed one let me know.

On a daily basis I have to deal with the past.  No matter how much therapy I’ve endured I still suffer with nightmares on Iran, and constant dreams of Mohammad.  Almost EVERY night I wake up at some point sitting up with my hands balancing me (which I’m sure is causing my carpal tunnel).  The reason for this is, in the POW camp I was handcuffed to a girl named Faresh and the only way we could “rest” was when we sat back to back.  If I got ANY SLEEP in that camp it was sitting up like that.  We were not allowed to lay down, and generally if they saw us with our eyes closed they would nudge us with their gun butts.   So despite the time period that has elapsed since that incident, I STILL SUFFER FROM THIS.

I still get nightmares about my brother sexually abusing me at age 11.  Once in a great while I will get a good dream where he has died, and if I’m LUCKY I will get a double feature five star dream where he and Mohammad are BOTH killed! :)

Now the bipolar that is a tricky issue to deal with.  I’ve been on pills now since 2007 which have helped ALOT!  But the anti-depressants that I take with them usually reach a toleration level in 2-3 years so I have to try another one.  But I don’t suffer from the constant mania that would appear twice or more a week causing me to take my hubby’s credit cards and go buy something, buy what you ask, it didn’t matter as long as I bought something, and that’s the truth.  I still have moodiness that is hard to control, one day I will be best friends with someone and the next day they won’t talk to me due to the conversation we had the night before.  My poor hubby goes through most of my ups and downs.  Whenever I tell him I love him and that he’s the best man I’ve ever had the chance in knowing, he will say, “RIGHT NOW I AM, but tomorrow I could be the OGRE of your nightmares”, and he’s kind of right.  He knows by now not to take me seriously when I’m upset so he just “rides” the storm.  But for the most part the bipolar is under control.

The one thing that upset me is how they portray the bipolar individuals in tv shows or movies.  These people always seem to be OFF THE CHARTS mentally ill.  That is not bipolar.  Bipolar really isn’t a mental condition it’s a MOOD DISORDER.  But the way these shows depict us people get scared and get all kinds of false ideas when they meet someone who is bipolar.  Another thing that needs to be addressed is when a bipolar person gets upset, mad or happy, our loved ones and those close to us ALWAYS attribute it to the BIPOLAR.  It’s like we can’t have these emotions just NORMALLY, it always has to be the bipolar, thus we are not taken seriously.  They assume these emotions will change tomorrow or in some cases like mine in the next ten minutes; (I have rapid cycling bipolar).  We can’t just be mad at someone because they did something we didn’t like, noooo it was because we were just moody and tomorrow we will be fine with what they upset us about.   Or if we get very happy (warning: don’t smile too broadly or laugh too loudly) they will think were manic and start looking at us strange like will she fly the cuckoos nest sometime soon, or will she break down crying.  This just ISN’T RIGHT!

What I don’t like is how apathetic these bipolar meds can make you.  They can make you so apathetic that you don’t have emotions.  I feel bad for the person who is getting their medication adjusted because the doctor feels that if your sedated it’s better than being manic and you could wind up on a drug like Seroquel and sleep all day.  Most of these drugs make you gain weight and then they wonder why Brittney Spears is having trouble keeping her stick thin figure.  She’s lucky she has any energy at all.  Some people who take these drugs take a stimulant or are so hooked on caffeine to counteract the tiredness that causes problems in their behavior too.  I liked my manic episodes at times, they made me feel alive and passionate about things.  Sure I did take them too far and not all my behavior was appropriate but I still enjoyed them.  One time I was getting my hair done at home and had all these tin foils in my hair waiting for my color to take, I told my friend who was doing it to get in the car we had to go to the store and get lottery tickets and cigarettes.  She couldn’t believe it, my hubby told her to please go with me and drive so I wouldn’t get in trouble.  (he knew when I was like that to just deal with it the most tactful way possible).  The people at the store knew me so it didn’t shock them (at least they didn’t show it facially).  My poor hairdresser didn’t come over and do my hair again for a long time.  Until she understood what it was I suffered from.

Well in a short synopsis, I drive an hour and a half every Tuesday to therapy at Henry Ford Hospital, for my PTSD of Iran, childhood sexual abuse, and my life in a nutshell.  I also now have a benign brain tumor that is now 10% into my brain and growing.  I also suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome, I’ve had my hip replaced already, and am on a blood thinner due to suffering from 4 lung embolisms after I snorted some Soma and Ritalin *(back in 2007).  But on the bright side I went thru rehab in 2008 and now speak at the rehab hospital once a month on my book, my experiences and my recovery.  This talk motivates, inspires and gives hope to those that think their lives are in dire straits.  (well they tell me it does this and the patients share with me how much these talks help them) I love talking with them and the first time I did, I kept thinking I was narcissistic for standing up in front of a group of people to tell them about my life.  But when they started lining up to hug me and tell me how much hope it gave them as well as inspiration to quit, and some even had tears in their eyes, well that made me the happiest that I’d been in a LONNNGGGG time!  My book is sold in their gift shop and profits go to the rehab hospital.  But that is ALL I have going in my life right now.  I sit home, live on the computer, talk to my cats all day, and exercise everyday (MAYBE) for 30 minutes.  Then I wait for the SIMPSONS to come on, and then I know it’s evening.  I get up every night at 330am and eat ice cream and watch “BEWITCHED”, “I DREAM OF JEANNIE” and if I really stay up long , “THE JACK BENNY SHOW”  I’m on permanent disability so I have NOTHING TO DO.

So if there is anyone out there that has suggestions for me on doing something, not gardening or crocheting, but something they know of for sure that I could help someone with either from my home pc or other, PLEASE let me know.

NOW I WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIFE STORY, or at least a day in the life of SOMEONE WITH ISSUES! :)

The reason I wrote this was because I was sick of playing Candy Crush Saga, and other FB games and wanted to do something that MIGHT be productive for other people too.  They say if you talk about things its the first step in helping your mind deal with them.  So I’m dealing with a boring existence that therapy has numbed by severe PTSD to a minimum level, but due to the disability I’m going NUTS AT HOME with NOTHING TO DO!

PLEASE SHARE YOUR STORIES!

*** For those of you who haven’t read my book or know me, the links below should help you out in that aspect.  I also have had a mini-documentary done on the Discover Channel and am looking for more opportunities like that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Se-NTRWCJIU (Discovery Channel documentary-THIRD STORY in a series of three)
My current promotion to raise money for the charities I support.

Featured Author: Debra Kamza/ Ampbreia Weiss

Featured Author:

Ampbreia1

Debra Kamza / Ampbreia Weiss

1.  Please introduce yourself. Tell us a little about the person behind the pen.

I was born in Vallejo, CA but have lived in Everett WA since I was 5.  My childhood was a mostly happy one full of countless pets, huge family get-togethers, camping trips, and lots of books.  I have always loved reading, learning, and writing.  For as long as I remember, I’ve written stories and poems and loved to keep my little brother and friends entertained with ongoing stories whose ends I teasingly left dangling.  My older sister was annoyed, though, at my habit of getting up in the middle of the night to write whenever a dream inspired me, which was often.

I was raised a Pentecostal Christian, rebelled from its social divisiveness, anti-feminism, and boxed thinking when I was a teenager but fell straight into Shi-ite Islam not long after, not because I was particularly attracted to it but only because I was curious about it and greatly mislead about it by the Iranian guy I met in college and later married.  Yeah.  My book covers that in detail.  Suffice it say her that I am seriously burned out on religion.  I don’t mind if other people practice it; good for them if it makes them happy; but I’m long since done with it.  It’s just not for me.

I used to play piano, sing, and even wrote some music as a young adult but have since lost interest in that.  Having kids kind of diverted my attention from it in no small way.  Little fingers on the keyboard you know?  But my own little girl eventually took up where I left off all on her own initiative.

In the present, I’m married to a good guy now and we work together in an aerospace calibration lab.  I also love to dabble in arts of all kinds, dress up with my family and go to festivals, and dance.  I especially love belly dancing and have been doing it for seven years now.

2.   What made you decide to write Lost in Foreign Passions? Were there any influencing factors, or were any of the stories based on true events?

It’s a memoir of that turbulent time of my life when I mistakenly put my trust in a foreigner, went to live in his very troubled homeland, and adopted his religion just because it was so important to him.  A three-year nightmare was the immediate but mind-opening result, not to mention the loss of my son.  Writing it all out was a necessary catharsis for me and I thought it might help others as well.  Even if not for all that, it was still the adventure of a lifetime and an important learning experience.

3.   How do you promote your book, and do you find that difficult or just par for the course.

I honestly don’t really know how to do that other than to mention it in my blog now and then and to have an author site here and there. I have never had an agent, never found one willing to deal with that kind of political-religious hot potato.  I did originally trust it to Publish America because they claimed they were a “traditional publisher” but ended up having to end my 7-year contract with them four years early due to very shady unprofessional, non-traditional behavior on their part.  After that, I couldn’t bring myself to trust another publisher and, like the thing with religion, decided to go it on my own when the right opportunity presented itself: Amazon Author Central, which has been wonderful to me.

4.   Do you remember your first review and how it made you feel?  (If it was a bad one, also tell about your good one too).

Happy and relieved I guess that someone actually cared and that they found my story worth their time.  She was really enthusiastic about it and that felt wonderful, reassuring, you know.  I’m confident in my writing ability, but I wrote this memoir AND published it despite my very real fear (a terror really) that people would judge me very badly for it or consider me hopelessly stupid for haven fallen for all I did.  Nevertheless, it was a story I felt needed telling.  I was being brave, you see.

5.   Tell us about your book and if it’s a series and how the public is reacting to this book.

DreamLover  Passions2ndEd

Those who have read it have liked it very much.  Many who know me personally or have heard of me from others have told me they’d like to read it and are disappointed that they can’t find it in brick and mortar book stores.  But it really isn’t very widely known.

6.    Can you share any and all links that are important to you as a person and the book?  (You can relate more to a book if you know more about the author). 

Well, I have two author sites:  one for my pen Debra Kamza (former married name) under which I wrote my memoir at

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/BOOBNVI6Y2

and one for the fiction and poetry I write under the name of Ampbreia Weiss at http://www.amazon.com/-/e/BOOBNVPADM ,

only one book of which is posted there right now, Dream Lover.

These are the only two I have published through Amazon Author Central so far, but I plan on doing more.

I also have a blog at http://www.ampbreia.wordpress.com

where I write about anything and everything.

7.     I’ll wrap it up with this question since “7” is a lucky number.   Can you share an excerpt from your book, and I’d like to thank you so much for taking time to share your book with me. Please share as much as you’d like.

I was staring right up the surgery lamp as they lifted me onto to table and peeled up my dress in order to shave me.  I felt the cold of the water and heard the scrape of the razor below my abdomen while seeing only the lamp, a male surgeon, and a nurse.  I knew they were going to cut me open yet, wrapped in a strange euphoria, I didn’t care.

They didn’t see me watching and acted as if I was still unconscious.  I wanted to let him know I wasn’t, so I asked the surgeon if he could please arrange a mirror for me to watch the surgery in.  I must have been out of my mind to want that!

He gave me a startled look, dropped whatever he was holding and ordered the nurse to him on the double.  Dazedly, I watched the nurse put together a hypo and even that didn’t bother me (usually, such a sight would have made me cringe).  Then, recovering himself nicely, the surgeon inserted the hypo into my IV, telling me, “You will fall asleep in ten seconds.”

I didn’t believe him.  I giggled while he counted to ten.  It was the last thing I remembered of the surgery room.

Two days later, I awoke in a hospital bed in a dirty and dimly lit room. A stranger — a tall, swarthy, young man — was sitting, asleep, in a chair at my side. I couldn’t move my hand to nudge him, so I patiently waited for him to wake up on his own.  When he did, he jumped up with a show of great excitement and said, “You have a son, Honume Jon!”

I almost had heart failure at this I was in such a total amnesiac stupor.  I gave him a long stare.  “A son?  How could I have a son when I’ve never been pregnant? Who are you, anyway?”

“I’m your husband Peeshee jon.  Don’t you remember me?”

I didn’t remember him or anything else.  I demanded proof of everything he said.  I checked my belly for signs of pregnancy: It lay flat as a pancake with nothing of note moving within.  I thought nothing ever had been in there.  As disoriented as I was, I think I expected being pregnant to be proof of having just delivered a baby.  I wanted to see marriage documents.  I wanted to know where I was and, when he answered that, where the hell Iran was.

He willingly showed me marriage documents and where Iran was on a world map, but it didn’t mean anything to me.  The last thing I could recall was being in high school, and that was foggy.

Seeing the baby was all that would make any of this real, but that was the one thing the dark young man failed to produce on demand.  I bugged him endlessly to see the baby he swore I’d had.  Why couldn’t he show me this baby if it really existed?

For this last he offered no answer.

A day and a half passed during which the stranger, Reza, stayed with me almost constantly, making his wild claims, sleeping on a lower bed at the side of the room, and taking savory meals of choloe kebab.  I was brought nothing but bouillon and juice.  My stomach churned in hungry protest at this unfairness.  Besides being discombobulated to say the least, I waxed a bit cranky.

“When are you going to show me the baby you claim I had?” I demanded for what must have been the umpteenth time.  “I don’t know why you people are telling me such a thing when you’re not prepared to prove it.  Is this some kind of elaborate hoax? because if it is, your hoax has got holes in it.  This place is furnished like a hospital, but get real: it’s filthy!  Everyone knows that hospitals are sterile and new mothers in them are allowed to hold their babies as soon as they’ve given birth.  So where’s my baby?”

Reza was, by now, waving his hands in desperation for me to shut up. Finally, he swore he’d get me the baby if it were the last thing he did that day.  He did too, within the very hour.  He chased the nurse in with him and had her place the warm, flannel wrapped bundle in my arms.

At first, even then, I didn’t believe the baby could be mine.  I thought, for one thing, that a mother would remember nine months of grueling pregnancy.  I didn’t remember any of it.  Secondly, the baby was huge: almost ten pounds.  He was either a month old already or had come from a much larger woman than I was.  Heck, I knew my own size at least: five foot nothing and ninety-five pounds soaking wet.

The baby was beautiful, though.  He had huge black eyes, a shock of curly brown hair, and the sweetest little grin on I’d ever seen.  The feel of him against me was like the tickle of a kitten’s purr at my side.  Well, I thought, he certainly is a sweetie even if this is a trick.  I still didn’t think he could possibly be a newborn.  I thought that, besides being much smaller, newborns were always bald, red-skinned, and incapable of smiling.  This baby, if he was mine, put lie to that theory.

For nearly a half-hour, they let me hold him.  He smiling at me nearly the whole time, snuggled in the crook of my arm but when he started gnawing on his fist, then crying, I didn’t know what it was about.  The nurse did.  She came rushing to take the baby from me, saying it was his feeding time and she had a bottle ready for him in the nursery.  She was gone with him before I’d even thought up a protest.

I started regaining my memory from that moment on.

*** Debra is a great friend and colleague who I’ve known for MANY YEARS.    We share a common interest, we both lived in Iran while married to our Iranian husbands and had traumatic experiences.  I urge you strongly to read her book.  Debra also designed the cover of my book, so her talent runs LONG!